The Death of Eros
by Preshie
Summary: I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion, I have shudder'd at it, I shudder no more, I could be martyr'd for my Religion, Love is my religion, I could die for that,  I could die for you.
1. Chapter 1

_**Summary: **__**Extract from John Keats letter to Fanny Brawne**_

**Warning: Character Death**

**Plot points: Damon has not confessed to Elena yet nor has Stefan apologised for turning him. ****Rose doesn't exsist.**

**Set roughly around season 2 episode 10.**

**I won't dance, don't ask me**

**Chapter 1**

"Elena?"

"Stefan!" she smiled and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend relishing the contact.

"What are you doing here?" he said smiling, not altogether displeased by her visit.

"I was hoping you could give me a ride to the garden party."

Stefan grimaced "Would you mind getting someone else to take you?"

Elena pouted. "Why?"

"I need to feed before I go," he shrugged, looking a little embarrassed "and I might be a little late arriving."

She sighed and nodded, it didn't matter too much that he wouldn't be taking her on their date, at least he would be there and technically this little outing wasn't a date as such more like a scouting mission.

Apparently Mrs Lockwood had invited Jules to the annual garden party because Tyler had kicked up a bit of a fuss over the slight connection to Mason, she was compelled, not literally however, to gratify her son's wishes.

So Stefan had gone all Delta Force and wanted to go on Recon and find out who the enemy was, Jules had threatened that others of her kind would come to Mystic falls after all.

Despite that Elena was determined to make it at least a little like a regular date. They hadn't been on one in ages.

"Did you tell Damon?" she asked suddenly, this had all been a bit last minute.

"Not yet. Although I think he's invited anyway."

Elena nodded "He's on the council, of course." She wanted to suggest he might give her a lift but hesitated, Stefan had a little of the green eyes monster in him sometimes.

"Damon could take you and you can fill him in on the plan."

Elena smiled "Good idea." She concurred like it hadn't even occurred to her. "Is he here?"

He pointed to the ceiling "In his room." Stefan glanced out the window, "Look I'm going to go and get this over with. Will you be alright on your own with Damon?"

"Of course." She touched his arm reassuringly; he pressed a quick kiss on her cheek and left for the woods.

Elena took a deep breath and looked up to the stairs: Right.

She could hear the shower going as she came nearer his door but couldn't see the harm in waiting inside.

Elena had never been in Damon's room before. It wasn't at all what she expected and she contented herself to have a quick look around, only belatedly noticing his ensuite didn't have a door and waiting for him to finish showering whilst in the room was perhaps sending the wrong signals.

The shower cut off, too late.

It was with some trepidation that Elena awaited Damon's entrance, this was Damon after all she wouldn't put it past him to come strolling out in his birthday suit.

Damon walked into the room with his usual swagger; a fluffy white towel wrapped around his lower half. Her sigh of relief was only half hearted.

His upper body shimmered faintly in the dim light, he was Greek sculpture, his mannerisms, his posture and by god that face. Elena chastised herself silently for gawking but refused to avert her gaze when she saw the challenge in his.

"I should probably ask you to leave but," he stretched "I doubt you'll listen."

"Don't worry Damon," Elena grinned "if I see anything I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it." She made herself comfortable on his bed, positively thrilled at finally finding the opportunity to shove that in his face.

He quirked an eyebrow "Is that so?" he chortled, Damon loosened the towel and it fell to the floor.

Elena choked on a gasp, Damon was now standing before her in all his glory…no wonder he was so "cocky"!

His expression said perhaps it was about time to be looking for that dollar: Okay, so maybe she hadn't seen one that big before!

"I don't have any loose change." She grumbled.

Damon flashed a smile as she finally and with a face as red as a beet turned away, fidgeting nervously, now more desperate than ever to get this over with.

Damon, however, was in no rush and took his time picking out his clothes.

"So," he continued as if this was the most normal thing in the world "other than to perv shamelessly at my fine physique, what brings you to my room?"

Elena tore her gaze from his derriere, which was indeed very fine, *cough* "Uh, well, you see…"

Elena haltingly explained her predicament watching him make a show of dressing, finally shrugging into a signature black shirt.

He fumbled with the buttons, then pouting and sporting the most gorgeous pair of baby blue puppy dog eyes, murmured "a little help?"

Elena rose stiffly slotting each button into place, dragging her knuckle down the smooth fabric as she went.

"So what is it you need from me?" He asked quietly.

"Just you." She said as softly, something flickered across his eyes and Elena immediately started hedging "I mean you just need to be around, you know," she stepped back hastily, he nodded and quirked an eyebrow at her knowingly. "I get it."

"Stefan's feeding?" he murmured. She nodded dumbly.

"Good. We can't have him feasting on the guests like an all you can eat buffet." Damon made that sound like it wasn't at all a bad idea.

He looked her over, dark jeans and tight red t-shirt, "You're not wearing that are you? I thought this was a formal event?"

Elena jumped "Right, I have to get ready; uh…I'll see you at mine in an hour?"

Damon grinned "You've 30 minutes." He stated in all seriousness, "Starting now."

Elena legged it.

...

The Mayors house was resplendent with decoration and prettily arranged flowers. All the pomp and ceremony of such a minor yearly event squeezed out all over the carefully trimmed lawns. A scattering of garden tables swathed in crisp white table cloth hugged the walls at the back of the property, where Elena and Damon found seats.

Damon muttered something about seeing were-wolves but let it hang unfinished, his eyes again drawn to Elena in her black silk dress. The waist snug and low on her hips fanning out in shimmering ripples that ended just below her knees, the bodice modestly cut only slender strings of fabric hugging her shoulders to keep the dress up.

Elena tried to ignore it but the way he looked at her was all the compliment she needed.

Each table was laid out with a small porcelain bowl of complimentary sweets and he looked over just as she lifted a pink candy to her mouth and watched as it slipped from clumsy fingers and disappeared down the open front of her dress.

Elena, realising he'd noticed, stared hard at Damon her empty hand frozen at her lips: without missing a beat he said with relish "Shall I get that for you?"

Her brow quirked and a flash of colour leapt to her usually pale cheeks.

"You may not." She grated. He leaned forward daring to look down between her breasts, "Are you sure?" he lifted his hand "I could just…" She placed her hand demurely across her chest and surprised him with a smile "I don't think so."

Damon shrugged "Fine, fine, I'll just have to settle for watching you do it." He sat back.

She shifted around in her bodice irritably "Its fine where it is."

He nodded agreement "I would be too."

A convulsive laugh burst from her mouth "You're shameless." She breathed aghast.

"Be honest," he winked "you wouldn't have it any other way."

Elena choked about to laugh again until she saw Stefan staring at them. She coughed uncomfortably, Damon turned "Ah Stefan, come to ruin everyone's fun?"

Stefan ignored him and leant down to kiss Elena.

Well that was uncalled for, Damon thought dryly.

"Hey." He whispered affectionately, she smiled as sweet as saccharine "Hey."

Damon rose, deciding and not for the first time today, that he needed a stiff drink.

"So," Stefan took the seat his brother left "Any news?"

Elena's mouth twisted, "Damon thinks he's spotted a few potentials for Jules' pack, but…" she trailed off shrugging her shoulders. Stefan nodded and glanced around, "I wish we didn't have to be here, it's too dangerous."

Elena frowned "They won't start anything with all these people around," she murmured irritated with Stefan's propensity toward caution "besides, I was sorta hoping we might use this party to have fun."

Stefan smiled apologetically

"You know like boyfriends and girlfriends do?" she stressed.

"Sorry." He brushed his fingers across her cheek. "I'm just a little on edge."

Elena could sympathise with that, everyone was a little jumpy, well everyone but Damon who seemed immune to the precarious nature of their situation.

She glanced around spotting him immediately through the crowd like a beacon drawing her gaze. She supposed the one good thing about his impervious self confidence was that when she was with him she felt it too, like all the problems of the world couldn't touch her and as romantic as that sounded it was usually because he was antagonizing her into forgetting there was anything more irritating than him.

"Which one's, did he point anyone out?"

"Huh?" Elena blinked.

"Who are the potentials? Did Damon say anyone in particular?"

Stefan scanned the crowd again.

Elena slumped, he was in work mode "No. I thought we were gonna have fun?" she pouted prettily and Stefan sighed giving in easily "Okay, what constitutes as fun?" he asked lightly.

Music drifted across the tables and Elena grinned "Dancing!" she gasped whimsically.

Stefan grimaced on the verge of objecting when Alaric stepped in and saved him the bother "Stefan?" he glanced up, "Alaric, what's wrong?"

Alaric gave a nod toward Elena "There's a few people that might be, uh…well, werewolves, I thought maybe you'd be able to tell?"

Stefan was up in a flash "Of course, I'll check right now." He brushed a kiss on Elena's hair "I'm really sorry Elena."

Elena made soothing noises hiding her disappointment as he walked away, all too eager to be off checking out a bunch of mutts.

Don't be childish, she chided herself silently, it's not his fault some crazed werewolves are out for revenge.

She shifted around again in her seat suddenly remembering the candy stuck down her dress, probably melting all over her good bra!

After affirming the all clear she shoved her hand down to have a good rummage and of course that's when Damon appeared, catching her with her hand in the proverbial biscuit tin.

His smile was enormous "Please, don't stop on my account!"

Elena blushed crimson, too late now anyway, locating the small sweet she eased her hand out of her bra, carefully between thumb and forefinger drew it back and threw it at Damon.

Damon deftly dipped his head to the side and caught the candy in his mouth. Elena gaped, that wasn't exactly what she'd intended to happen at all.

"Mmmh thanks." He rolled the sweet between his teeth and then set to, sucking away contentedly and settling himself back in his seat.

Elena sat in stunned silence, watching Damon watching her.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked suddenly. Elena would love to dance, she thought… but, she searched the crowd for Stefan.

"Oh, for pity sake!" Damon stood and grabbed her hand, leading her off to a small tented dance floor set out in the centre of the garden. Elena felt a little thrill at the prospect of dancing with him again, the last time had been so…Damon spun her around fitting his arm to her waist before she could finish the thought.

He took her hand and she placed the other on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off, "Hold your arm loose." He murmured.

"Let me move you." His gaze glanced off her lips and back up to her eyes with the slightest smile. Elena felt a little unsure, she really couldn't dance all that well.

"I lead, you follow." He said and so she did, dipping and raising in grand sweeping arcs about the dance floor with verve. It was exhilarated having him move her to the music, gently pushing and pulling and spinning, not at all afraid to show off a little.

The world faded away just like it always did with him and Elena found herself forgetting for a blissful few moments that their were werewolves coming after them, that the man before her wasn't human and that she was the doppelganger of a crazed psychopath.

All that existed was Damon and Elena.

"You shouldn't have worn that dress." His eyes roved the silky black folds fluttering over her lithe body; he pulled her a little closer "It's giving me ideas!"

Elena blushed.

Black shirt, crisp fitted black suit, Damon was so hot he positively smouldered! Now, how to get that into a platonic sounding compliment?

"You're not looking so bad yourself." Elena cringed inwardly.

Damon's lip quirked. "Gee, thanks."

He spun her suddenly as the music picked up, drawing her closer to steady her and simply because he could.

"Elena!" snapped rudely back into reality she staggered, Damon's strong embrace held steadfast. Focusing in on his eyes, made a brighter shade of blue by the strong sunlight, she squeezed his arm gratefully and turned to locate the voice.

"Stefan, is everything okay?" He waved them over.

"You told Elena, you thought you'd spotted a few werewolves?"

Damon nodded.

"Who are they?"

Damon jerked his head toward the buffet table, where two burly young men stood pilling food onto tiny cardboard plates.

"Check out Diefenbaker and white-fang."

Stefan frowned "How can you tell?"

Damon rolled his eyes, exasperated "Cause they smell like wet dog!" he said mockingly.

Stefan looked confused.

"How do you think Stefan? They were talking to Jules earlier, all chummy and conspiratorial."

"Oh." Stefan nodded.

Elena wondered briefly if Damon took the time to think up nicknames or whether he was just being spontaneous.

"I don't think Diefenbaker and white-fang are good names for those guys, they're goodies, those guys," Elena gestured toward the beefcakes "those guys are baddies."

"Who's Diefenbaker?" Stefan said slowly.

Damon was appalled "It shocks me how little you know of popular culture."

Stefan couldn't look less concerned and smiled again at Elena, "Before we were so rudely interrupted, you and I were going to dance?" Stefan held out his hand and Damon handed her over after only a small hesitation. Stefan was obviously trying to stake his claim. The man made no secret of his aversion to dancing.

Elena smiled, pleasantly surprised "Yes we were."

She couldn't help but feel a pang of regret at not finishing her dance with Damon and spared a glance over her shoulder as she was lead onto the dance floor once again. Damon winked.

Stefan twirled Elena around dipping her romantically, she giggled against his mouth as he kissed her.

It was then that Damon decided to make himself scarce; he really wasn't that much of a masochist.

The lilting music that followed the couple was just what the moment needed and Elena melted into his arms.

"Now we have a few of the wolves singled out we can make sure they don't get close." Stefan said thoughtfully, Elena rolled her eyes and refused to comment, maybe he'd give over if she stayed quiet.

"I wish we knew more about why they're here, it can't just be revenge."

So, he made a good point but Elena was too pissed off to care. "Really? Now?"

Stefan Frowned. Elena reiterated "Do we have to talk about this right now?"

"It's important Elena!" he admonished gently "I have to make sure you're safe."

She sighed "I'm sorry." She muttered and fell silent, wishing that Damon hadn't been so willing to part with her if only for a few moments more.

...

**This is my first story, so any comments, critical or complimentary can only do me good. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you enjoyed the last chapter...**

...

A girlie day out had been exactly what the doctor ordered.

Elena was finally feeling more herself after some much needed frivolous girlie chatter compliments of Bonnie, Caroline wasn't replying to her calls. Maybe more Matt trouble, she hoped not.

Elena hadn't seen Stefan in a few days since the garden party; she guessed he was busy planning for the ever increasing were-wolf problem. She banished the thought unwilling to spoil the end of her night with sombre thoughts.

Genuine happiness came so rarely these days, she needed to revel in it when it did.

Like dancing with Stefan at the garden party…and Damon, she grinned at the memory, the way he danced made her feel like Ginger Rodgers.

Jenna and Jeremy were talking quietly in the kitchen when she got home.

Jenna gave her a wave in greeting and Jeremy nodded mid sentence.

"Did you have a good time?" she asked.

"Yes," Elena smiled "very good, you?"

Jenna grinned "Alaric is coming to pick me up for our date."

Elena was pleased; Jenna and Alaric really looked good together.

"What's this?" her eyes caught on a small book open on the kitchen counter.

Jenna nudged Jeremy. "Just some of my sketches." He said sheepishly.

Elena's hovered over it "May I?"

He shrugged and pushed the sketch pad across the table.

Elena thumbed thorough the pictures, awestruck, he was getting really good.

"Jeremy these are…" she gasped appreciatively.

He seemed to favour people over scenery, odd little caricatures of men with distinctive faces.

Bonnie featured prominently; she'd have to ask him about that, Elena glanced up; he blushed, another time perhaps.

The dark loose curls and wide eyes of pretty little Anna set a pang of sadness through her, Jeremy had more than his fair share of Heartache.

He gave her a warning look and Elena quickly moved on coming to an abrupt halt at a picture of Damon.

His expression was striking to say the least, half the face swathed in heavy shade. Jeremy had managed to capture a sort of…she couldn't describe it. All she really wanted to know was what Damon had been looking at in that moment.

"A good likeness." Jenna murmured.

Jeremy squirmed and prized the pad from Elena's grasp. "Thanks."

There was a knock at the door and Jenna sprang into action "Oh, that'll be for me." She swung her bag to her shoulder, tossing her hair "I'll see you guys later."

"Have a good time." Elena winked.

"Of course." She replied smugly, "Be good." She pointed between them warningly.

Jeremy chuckled as she left, slotting his note pad in his back pocket.

"Those are really good Jer." Elena reaffirmed, still a little curious about the sketch of Damon.

He twisted his mouth "Ask." He said abruptly.

Elena blinked "Uh, okay…why a picture of Damon?"

Jeremy looked taken aback, like he'd been expecting something else. Elena belatedly remembered the drawings of Bonnie but she'd already dove in.

"Why not Damon?"

"We'll," she cleared her throat "what about Stefan?"

Jeremy rolled his eyes "Stefan only has one expression."

Elena grimaced "That's not true!" She cringed, they were getting off point. "Did he pose for that sketch?"

Jeremy was incredulous "You honestly think he would?"

Okay stupid question, she stewed over her next one.

"I just tried to draw from memory."

"Which memory?" Elena was aware how obsessed she was sounding but for some reason it mattered to her.

Jeremy looked at little awkward "Uh, the night he... killed me."

"Oh." Elena swallowed thickly.

Suddenly the look on the face Jeremy had drawn was simple, haunted and broken, he was looking at her. It made sense that Damon's face would be indelibly etched into her brother's memory on that particular occasion, Elena just wished Jeremy hadn't felt the need to document it.

She mumbled an embarrassed apology and disappeared up to her room, wishing she hadn't gone all Spanish Inquisition, she certainly surprised him: like they say, no one expects…

Her mobile vibrated and flashed for her attention, caller I.D saying Caroline. The perfect distraction.

"Hey Caroline, I was trying to reach you all day! What's up?"

"_This is not Caroline, Elena."_

"What? Who is this?"

"_My name is Jules,"_

Elena went rigid, "Why do you have Caroline's phone?" she said slowly, praying this was not happening.

"_I have more than just her phone."_

Elena wasn't one for swearing but she could feel a tumult building in her throat at this very moment clawing to be heard. Raggedly, she ran her fingers through long tangled hair.

The werewolves had Caroline.

"What do you want?" she demanded, trying to suppress the fear in her voice.

"It's simple, _you_."

She hesitated, "An exchange…?"

"…_An exchange."_

Elena was silent. This was either a way to get back at Stefan and Damon or something to do with that bloody moonstone…Elena really hoped they didn't know about that.

"_Elena if you cooperate we'll return Caroline unharmed, if not..."_ she let the threat hang.

Elena slouched under the weight of it.

"If I give myself to you, you promise not to go after anyone else?" she whispered.

"…_We just want you_." Jules affirmed… It was about the moonstone.

But she had no choice, they would kill Caroline and if this meant she could guarantee the safety of those she loved then Elena was bound to make the same decision she had for Elijah.

Stefan would be so angry at her...and Damon…

"Okay."

"_Excellent. I think the grill might be a good place to meet, don't you?"_

Elena closed her eyes, "Yes."

"_I'll send someone familiar. We don't want anyone unnecessary noticing anything."_

"How can I be sure you'll let her go?"

"_You have my word."_

She shook her head. Her word meant nothing, less than nothing.

"_I must warn you,"_ Jules spoke clearly down the phone _"if you bring any blood suckers with you we'll kill her. No tricks."_

_..._

Elena sat in one of the booths facing the door taking slow calming breaths. She was doing the right thing, Jules promised not to hurt anyone if she came quietly, she would give Caroline back. Elena tore her eyes from the door briefly to scan the busy grill; Alaric and Jenna were at the bar talking softly amongst themselves, she hoped they hadn't noticed her.

Tyler approached, he looked a little sheepish.

"Hey, Elena."

"Tyler?" she was immediately wary. "Where's Caroline?"

"Outside. Would you come with me?"

Elena set her jaw, her instincts were screaming at her to flee for her life, but she couldn't abandon Caroline.

Elena nodded "Okay."

Tyler visibly relaxed and motioned for her to follow, leading them both away from the grill toward the car park. Jules was leaning back against a beaten old car, with a tall shaven headed man that looked less than friendly.

Caroline hung semi-conscious between them.

The lady grinned "Elena?" she looked her over her like a prime piece of meat and Elena swallowed convulsively, maybe this hadn't been such a great idea.

Before Elena even had time to register what was happening, the man had his rough hand clamped over her mouth and caught her arms behind her back.

"You're a cute little vampire sympathiser." He whispered.

Tyler was flapping his hands uselessly as she struggled.

"What are you doing?" he shouted launching forward to free her but Jules intervened and raised her hand, "She can help us break the curse Tyler and you want that, right?"

He shook his head "I…I, How?"

Jules shrugged "The power of the doppelganger." Elena would have rolled her eyes if she wasn't so terrified, being the spitting image of that crazed ancient wench was really starting to piss her off.

Tyler licked his lips "You wont _hurt_ her though…right?" He cast his eyes to Caroline.

Jules pouted "Get in the car Tyler."

Elena screamed and bit and wriggled for all she was worth earning a sharp dig in the ribs for her trouble.

They hadn't released Caroline yet.

"Shut up you little bitch!" he hissed, yanking her hair back causing her to yelp.

Jules gave him a patient look and stepped forward "Elena, I said if you _cooperate_ we won't hurt them, do you understand?"

Elena stilled her struggling, she wanted to believe that.

"That's your weak spot," Jules prodded "protecting your family? I can understand that, we'll just leave Caroline here and _you_ will come with us."

A look passed between Jules and the man holding her, he didn't seem at all happy about this deal she was making, really unnecessarily. Elena was in no position to escape and she didn't know this woman from Adam to trust her word.

Her captor tightened his hold on her hair and she immediately nodded, for her friends, she could consider the consequences later.

They left Caroline in a heap on the tarmac and drove off with Elena as their new prize.

_..._

Damon could have done without company tonight but it seemed it was not to be, he'd only just started his scotch when the wolf lady appeared beside him. If this was to become a frequent thing he was never coming to the grill again.

"Where's the moonstone?" Jules came directly to the point, she sure knew how to get a mans attention.

He made a face "Moonstone? Do I look like a geologist?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

Damon studied her a moment.

"We'll find it." She smiled "If you have it, we will find it."

Damon shrugged and turned to leave, he had plenty of alcohol at home.

"How's Elena, I suppose _she_ knows?"

He froze, a snarl twisting his face. Fuck.

How did they find out about Elena's link to it, how did they even know about the bloody moonstone?

Tyler, that little shit, it had to be him, he should have killed him along with Mason.

This whole being the good guy was really coming back to bite him.

Damon was smiling when he turned to her again.

"You come anywhere near Elena and I'll kill you."

"It's a full moon tonight and you don't even know how to kill me, do you?" Jules sneered

Damon gave her a sympathetic smile, "Oh this is just priceless," he snickered ""I love that you think that's a hindrance."

Her certainty wavered.

"I'll just take your head," he dead panned "see if you survive that."

"If that's not enough," he continued like he was talking about the weather "I'll dismember you." He leaned forward across the table "Tell me, is reassembling body parts a skill amongst werewolves?" He hesitated a moment to gage her reaction then nodded sagely "I didn't think so, fine manipulative skills kinda go out the window with paws, huh?"

"You won't get a chance." She snapped, eyes flashing murderously.

Damon shook his head "Catch you later Cujo."

Jules shot to her feet but Damon raised his hand sternly, "Stay!" he commanded.

Her face went scarlet as all heads at the grill turned to stare, Damon smiled at the fury painted there "Good dog."

The minute he left the grill he ran to the car and broke the speed limit back to the boarding house, the faster he saw Elena was safe the better.

...

"Tyler, bright spark that he is, has been telling his new bestest buddies about the moonstone."

Everyone looked shocked and Damon nodded "See, that's what I thought."

He continued "Now _they_ want a piece of Elena too…_where_ is she by the way?"

He'd half expected her to be cuddled up with the saint when he'd returned from his fact finding expedition.

Stefan looked horrified, Alaric grimaced. "She went with Tyler earlier, I saw her at the grill."

Damon choked out a guffaw.

Of course she did, sometimes it felt like that woman actively searched for ways to piss him off, I mean _really_ going out of her way to make his life more difficult.

"Well shit!" he said laconically, collapsing against the wall huffily. "I'm gone all of five seconds and she just hands herself over!"

Stefan glowered "This isn't helping Damon." He bit tersely.

"Maybe not _you_, but _I_ need to get this off my chest."

Alaric shot glances between the brothers hoping this didn't dissolve into bickering; he was too tired for that. "Damon."

He twitched "Alaric?"

"Some other time, maybe?"

He groaned "_Yes dear_."

Stefan scrubbed his hands over his face and stood, "This doesn't mean anything, Tyler may…"

"Tyler may, what?" Damon snapped "Take her out for a cup of coffee, a little chat? Philanthropic to the last!" he mocked. "Rick lets you and me go, leave _Simon Templar_ here to believe in the inherent good of man!"

"Call her." Alaric interrupted, sparing a withering look for Damon.

"I'm on it." Stefan already had the phone out, dialling her number.

"Elena?"

"…_no."_

Stefan went stiff "Who is this…Tyler?"  
Damon took a step toward him; he was going to rip that little puppy into pieces.

Stefan waved him off.

"Tyler where's Elena?"

"_We have her."_

"If you hurt her…" he left the threat unfinished, watching Damon clench and unclench his fists.

"_I…I didn't know, I just thought they wanted to talk…"_

"Tyler listen to me, they're going to kill her, are you really that desperate to break the curse, are you really that selfish?"

"_I didn't know…"_

"Where are you? Where is Elena? We can make this right."

There was a pause, the tension in the room thick enough to slice.

"_They have a trailer in the woods off the A180 outside town…it's near the lake."_

Damon could hear everything; he knew the area well enough.

He locked eyes with Stefan and nodded.

"Thank you Tyler."

He hung up.

"What are we waiting for?" Damon said immediately ready to go kill him some wolf.

A few pelts could really lift this room he thought darkly.

But Stefan shook his head, "Just us two against the pack isn't going to be enough."

Alaric grunted, spreading his hands "What about me?"

Damon for once was of the same mind. So he didn't much care for Alaric but he was pretty handy to have around in a tight spot, he could respect that.

"I'm all for the lone ranger approach but, I thought you said two wasn't enough?"

Stefan frowned "No, Alaric, I'm sorry you're just not strong enough, not fast enough. This is our problem."

Damon shrugged "Sorry big guy, guess you're out."

Alaric scowled angrily but remained silent.

"So" Damon said at length "now that you've started amputating limbs, who are we going to use to make up the numbers…_Caroline_?"

Stefan nodded "Yes."

"Seriously?" He'd been joking.

"Yes!" Stefan insisted "She can handle herself, besides we can't afford to be picky."

"Hey," Damon scoffed "_you're_ the one who won't let ranger rick play with the rest of us, how am I the picky one?"

"Please Damon!"

Damon spread his hands aghast, was he being unreasonable? Damon looked to Rick for help, who shrugged and shook his head.

Stefan relaxed visibly "I'll call Caroline."

Alaric stood "Well, there's no reason for me to be here," he sighed "I need a ride home."

Stefan and Alaric stared pointedly at Damon.

"…I'll take him."

Stefan was on the phone to Caroline as soon as Damon and Alaric left. She wasn't picking up; he paced back and forth, wearing a trench in the rug.

Where was she?

The forth call got through, she sounded out of her mind "Stefan oh my god! They _kidnapped_ me!"

She was talking so fast a lot of the ensuing information was lost.

"What do you mean kidnapped? Caroline where are you?"

Did the werewolves have her too?

"The werewolves," she screeched "they kidnapped me to get to Elena!"

"We know they have her…"

What, how?"

"It doesn't matter, where are you?"

"Uh…" there was silence "I think…the grill, I'm near the grill."

"You think? Are you okay?"

"Not entirely," she murmured softly "I uh…they _tortured _me." Caroline gave a little sob. "...Tyler didn't even do anything to stop them..."

"I'll come get you." He said immediately, hunting for his car keys. "Thank you."

Stefan felt ill, if they hurt Elena...no, he couldn't think like that, they needed her alive for now. He grabbed a few blood bags before bolting out the door.

He hoped Caroline was fit enough to help them free her. It started to make sense why Elena had got herself into this position. She would not have hesitated to give herself over to ensure the safety of Caroline, no matter what the cost.

...

Alaric was still pissed at not being able to help, he didn't have a death wish but he wanted to get Elena back. If something happened to her Jenna would be a wreck.

Damon was glaring at the road beside him, raring to be on the way to the aforementioned lady's rescue.

It was a full moon tonight; she was in even greater danger, perhaps it could work to their advantage and then perhaps not. Any other night but this would have been nice, werewolves in human form were a great deal easier to take down. Vampires and werewolves both after Elena and the moonstone...he sighed heavily, could it get any worse?

"You really think Tyler told them?" he asked suddenly breaking the silence.

Damon grimaced "It had to be, Jules never mentioned it until now. I doubt they even realised until that idiot joined the ranks."

Alaric shook his head; he was disappointed in the boy but he couldn't blame him. It was hard to know who to trust, no one was as they seemed in this world. Damon being a prime example, after everything that he had done…Alaric had never imagined he would be working along with him for the common good.

"When will you go after her?"

He smirked "As soon as I get rid of you."

"Hey, I wanted to help, it's not my fault Stefan doesn't want it."

"Yes, well, you know my brother; he likes to protect humans to the exclusion of all good sense." He eyed Alaric "Even when we could really use the collateral."

"You want my help, Damon?" Alaric smiled.

"Are you fishing for compliments Rick?"

"It sounded to me like you were admitting you need my help."

"No, it sounded like I was admitting _Stefan_ needed your help."

"uh hu."

"Does my good opinion of you really mean so much? _I had no idea_!"

Alaric swallowed his smile, "Hardly." He grumbled.

Damon caught sight of the setting sun and felt a flicker of fear. The moon would be on the rise soon. Enough banter.

"Out you get!" Damon pulled over, Alaric stared about him.

"My place is three blocks away."

Damon glanced around and shrugged "You need the exercise."

Alaric set his jaw and stepped out slamming the door behind him.

"Bye!" Damon waved and spun the car around.

No point hanging around, they were only wasting time.

Caroline most likely would be on her way to the boarding house if she wasn't already there and Stefan would be gorging himself on all creatures great and small in the surrounding area.

...

Stefan had given him a heads up during his return trip on Caroline's condition and the actions that caused it. Damon was seething: he let it boil close to the surface, saving it for man's best friend. If they tried anything like that with Elena, his vengeance would be lasting and painful.

"What's the plan?" Damon said on entering the boarding house. "Get in Get Elena, Get out?"

Stefan shrugged "Basically." He conceded.

Damon nodded "I like it." He announced "There's always something to be said for simplicity."

"Glad it meets with your approval." Stefan said flatly.

Damon put his hand over his heart ignoring the tone.

"You and I both know you'd be crippled with self doubt if I admitted this _Plan_ was anything less than Stellar."

Stefan crossed his arms, looking decidedly huffy.

Caroline glanced between them "Will it just be us?" she asked nervously.

"Yes," Damon answered "The three amigos venturing forth and all that."

"I prefer The Three Musketeers!" Caroline said snottily.

Stefan rolled his eyes "There's no need to involve anyone else, they'll only get hurt." He explained, "It's us they want…"

Damon grunted: three stooges more like.


	3. Chapter 3

...

Elena pressed her back against the cage bars her prison was small and sturdy, giving the impression its original or intended inhabitant was a great deal stronger than she, making the hope of possible escape without aid unlikely.

She had no idea where she was, hauled up in some god-forsaken, shabby ass caravan in the arse end of nowhere surrounded by trees and blackness. It was night now, she could see through the small window in the room.

Jules had left sometime after they'd locked her up, leaving her with the shaven headed beef cake. Thankfully he wasn't interested in anything other than staring at her and finally even that bored him, so Elena had some welcome alone time.

She wondered if the brothers knew yet, more than likely, regardless of what Jules had said she wanted Stefan to come for her, she wanted Damon to come and rain down his own personal brand of fiery justice.

She sighed, Jules had promised not to hurt the people she cared about in exchange for her life and so had Elijah, who to sacrifice herself to _first_…decisions, decisions!

Fear rolled in her belly as the door knob of the room twisted, abating only slightly when it was Tyler who walked in. He looked in pain, his face reddened by strain and body held tightly in check.

"Elena." He gasped and fumbled with the cage lock.

Elena launched forward, he was freeing her!

"Tyler! Not that I'm not really, _really_ grateful…"

His face twisted and he gasped "I didn't know they wanted to kill you, I'm…so sorry." He opened the lock, swinging the door wide and plopped down on his backside gasping for breath.

"What's happening…?" Elena's voice faded and she stared out the window at the pale silver face of the full moon. Tyler was turning.

"This is the only chance you'll get…Please lock me up. I don't want to hurt anyone else..."

Elena helped him into her prison and closed the door, leaving the key where he could reach it when he became human again.

"Now, Run!"

Elena did just that.

...

Elena was terrified, thick inky blackness lay about her; the heavy smell of pine and damp earth and dog, the last was what had her so spooked, they were so close but she couldn't see them. Vegetation and full foliaged trees covered what little light the night sky provided and she stumbled about helplessly trying to find her way.

A howl sounded near by and she sprang behind a tree pressing her face against the bark, get it together she thought frantically.

Dropping to her knees she patted about on the forest floor, feeling for anything that could serve as a weapon, a thick broken branch rolled under her finger tips and she snatched it up waving it about her head like a baseball bat.

Thus armed she felt slightly less flighty but the guttural sounds and growls that echoed through the trees quickly robbed her of any new found confidence. Elena tightened her hold, a stick was better than nothing.

Suddenly there was a presence behind her, she whirled swinging for all she was worth, realising at the last moment her mistake.

Damon caught the makeshift bat with ease, "Well, that's no way to treat your rescuer!"

Elena almost collapsed with relief "Damon!" she exclaimed, surprising them both and throwing herself into his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and smiled "That's much more like it." he leant down to whisper in her ear "As much as you're enjoying this there are a few things we need to see to first."

Elena prized herself away but he wouldn't let her go completely, he slid his hand into hers.

"You can't see for shit in this." He muttered and guided her slowly through the dark.

"Where's Stefan?" she asked. Damon nodded ahead "Don't worry we're nearly there."

He froze, grabbing Elena and launching her away as a were-wolf exploded out of the trees, its cruel gaping maw snapping shut just shy of her outstretched arm.

Damon set upon it with feeling, straddling the creatures broad back hooking his arms under its front legs and pulling very slowly, his muscles bunching and straining for the task.

The wolf yelped and bit as an awful crunching grating sound emanated from its barrel chest, sinew snapping, ribs cracking and shoulders popping as he dislocated them. Elena hadn't known that wolves could scream.

She shuddered as he let the body drop, "Can I have that?" he motioned for the stick and she tossed it over, he thought about telling her to look away, but this was who he was, she would have to get used to it sooner or later. Damon rammed the stick home, splintering the spine and impaling the heart.

Elena felt ill; he shrugged "It always pays to be sure." As if to punctuate his last remark he ripped the branch free and smashed it over the werewolf's head, the body was morphing becoming human again, Elena couldn't watch anymore.

She was trembling. Damon stood close behind her "Don't ever do that again." He whispered, at first she thought he meant turning from the animal's violent death but as he spoke it dawned on her. He meant giving herself over to the mercy of the wolves.

"You're not being brave when you put yourself in these situations; you're just putting everyone else's life in danger that has to come save you."

He took her hand roughly this time and dragged her after him. Stefan burst out into the clearing ahead making a bee-line for them, "Elena!" he gasped

His eyes bounced off their tightly clasped hands.

Elena immediately let go and ran to him. "Stefan!"

He grabbed her and held her close "I'm sorry I couldn't make it, Caroline and I meet some opposition on the way to you."

Caroline slotted in beside him "Elena, are you okay? I was so worried, I'm so sorry about all this."

Her eyes shot to Damon "One of the were-wolves that attacked us got away."

Damon scanned the trees, sniffing the air, Stefan strained to hear but his senses were no match on an animal blood diet.

Damon pointed to the left; "More than one." He said slowly "Three, one for each of us."

Stefan closed his eyes and nodded "Elena, stay behind us, whatever you do stay back!"

Elena slunk back to the trees hovering close; she grabbed another branch and locked eyes with Damon.

She understood a little of why he was angry at her suddenly, someone had to die for her to survive she had to be able face that, she wouldn't turn away again.

The were-wolves burst from the tree line at a dead run, dark grey, mottled brown and russet all homing in on the vampires directly before them. Damon launched forward drawing the dark grey wolf to him away from the others, Stefan waited for the mottled brown and Caroline started throwing things to slow the Russets progress, she was a surprisingly good shot, pinging rocks of the things head.

Damon and the dark grey were at a dead lock, he couldn't take it by surprise like the last. It darted forward and bit for his groin, which he took a decided umbrage to, deftly slamming his heel down on its head causing the muzzle to snap shut and sever a lolling tongue.

Acting fast as the wolf yipped in pain, he slid his hands around the snout and squeezed.

"Bad dog!" he chastised through gritted teeth, he twisted trying to snap the neck but the wolf threw itself to one side with the motion of his shoulders. Damon dropped onto its chest heavily, essentially sitting on it and drove his booted feet into its neck, stamping down hard. His grip ever tightening on the straining muzzle starting jerking up, heaving, determined to have its head if it was the last thing he did. Yelling wildly he gave a last yank and wrenched the head clean off its body.

Caroline screamed the russet had her pinned to the ground her hands just barely holding the slobbering teeth at bay. Stefan pulled it by the scruff of its neck and heaved it into the air but the mottled brown was snapping at his heels. He kicked savagely at its face, thankful for wearing caterpillar boots as its fangs grazed the thick leather.

Elena was desperate to help but knew she would only get in the way, she watched with bated breath as the russet wolf flew through the air to land uncomfortably close by.

"Stefan." She felt panic rise as it turned on her, shaken by its impromptu flight but none the worse for wear. Brandishing her stick she swung as it leapt the wood colliding with its nose and turning the bite away from her body, it latched onto her arm.

Damon waded in thrusting his fingers between the jagged teeth and prizing the long jaw apart, freeing Elena from its grasp. Stefan joined him and wrapped his arms around the russets desperately wriggling body so it could not escape. Damon gave a sharp pull and dislocated its jaw, ripping it clean away.

The wolf went limp.

Stefan pushed the body away; eyes only for Elena "Are you okay?"

"Caroline?" Damon shouted across "Be a dear and clean up this mess."

Caroline looked up a little dazed, a large bloodied rock held wavering above her head having just dispatched the mottled brown wolf by brutally smashing it's face in.

Damon took a deep breath, clenching his fists very slowly, oh shit...he could feel the mild sting where the wolf's tooth had perforated his skin. There was no time to worry about that now...

Stefan went stiff his eyes fixated on Elena's arm, she was bleeding, he was trying desperately to think, to control, but the blood…

Damon was instantly on high alert placing himself squarely between them and wagging a stern finger at his brother "ah ah ah!" he admonished, his tone was joking but his stance was anything but.

"Elena," he called over his shoulder, "You need to go."

She struggled to her feet "He won't hurt me Damon, I trust him."

Damon rolled his eyes, growling softly "That's nice, but why don't you go home and trust him from a safe distance."

"Damon…" she took a step forward, Stefan seemed to spasm as she came nearer.

Damon spun and manhandled her back a pace, strong fingers digging into her arms, "For once I need you to _trust_ _me!" _she looked up into his eyes, he was rocking his game face, mesmerizing red ringed blue Iris's pining her in place, a face that brokered no argument.

"Now, get the fuck out of my sight." He shoved and that was all it took to start Elena running.

He risked watching her rapidly disappearing into the darkness until he heard Stefan lurch forward and threw himself at his brother, "Stefan," he smiled tightly "You'll only regret it if you run her down and kill her, now won't you?" He spoke as if to a child, gently warding off his little brother before he attempted anything rash.

"Hungry." Stefan gasped, "I know." He sympathised sarcastically, "but you're just going to have to suck it up," he hesitated, wrong choice of words "or not, as the case may be."

Damon slid his arm over Stefan's shoulders, the gesture looked innocent enough, but he held on with a vice grip to ensure he stayed firmly in place.

"Good boy." He murmured "Now lets go look for some bunnies, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

Damon steered them in the opposite direction, sparing one more glance over his shoulder before leading Stefan into the forest.

...

Elena ran. Her arm was throbbing like a son of a bitch but she ignored it she could see the road she knew her way from here and focused on that. Damon's car was parked at the road side and she jumped in, surprised but thankful he left it open.

She huddled down in the seat; the pain was really starting to kick in now the adrenaline was wearing off.

She gritted her teeth and prodded at the broken flesh, the wolf had made quit the mess of her upper arm, the slender bicep had several deep punctures the largest was weeping blood without signs of slowing.

Elena winced; she was going to need stitches.

The car door opened and Damon deposited himself onto the front seat beside her.

He looked worn out; he took a long slow breath and turned to her, his eyes reddening.

"Stefan's okay, before you ask," he quipped dryly "he's making his own way back to the boarding house." His eyes slid to her arm "Caroline's burying the bodies."

Elena felt fear grip her and she leant away from him, "Damon?"

He bared his teeth "Don't get scared."

He chuckled suddenly and flicked an eyebrow at her with a disappointed shake of his head "_I_ won't hurt you."

He lifted his wrist to the elongated incisor and sliced his skin deeply.

"Drink." He ordered, Elena was about to refuse but he was especially intimidating at this precise moment and her arm hurt _a lot._

Slowly Elena ran her tongue over the cut, he tasted just like she remembered; the only way to describe it was a strangely metallic bitter black chocolate. She sealed her lips to his skin and sucked.

Damon was having a hard time controlling himself, when she licked like that, his fangs ached.

He kept his focus on her arm, watching the punctures reseal, leaving little patches of blood spattered on now faultless skin.

"Stop." He groaned. Elena pulled back gasping, his blood coating her lips.

Damon stared at her mouth, he was so hungry…Scenting her like a predator, he liked his lips, tasting the air.

Damon couldn't help himself; he slid closer lifting her slender arm into his hands, the heat of her skin soaked into his cold flesh.

"Don't!" her breath hitched, as he growled against her skin.

"I won't bite." He murmured, but she could tell by the throbbing veins around his eyes that he sure as hell wanted to. His tongue shot out and lapped at her skin, sending a rush of goose-pimples over her body.

He groaned and the sound vibrated through her, "I'm thirsty Elena."

He sat up his head lolling back mouth open, fangs glistening in the half light.

Elena had to take a moment to gather her thoughts.

He had saved her life after all, Elena knew she shouldn't allow him, but was incredibly turned on, the adrenaline, surviving this awful night, the lingering taste of his blood she was high with it and so better judgment took a back seat.

"Consider it payment for saving me." She said quickly.

Damon held her gaze a fraction of a second longer before smiling "Done."

She felt like she'd just signed a deal with the devil.

Damon who had not once let go of her arm during their little moment set about licking and sucking the blood away, his hands stroking up and down its length.

No matter where he touched it seemed directly connected to Elena's groin, all roads led to Rome, especially when Damon was driving.

With her arm now _thoroughly_ cleaned, Damon finally raised his face to look at Elena and noticed his blood still staining her mouth; leaning forward and never taking his eyes from hers for a second; Damon took hold of her bottom lip and sucked it off.

They stared at each other knowing that he'd taken a step too far; Elena licked her lips, she could taste him and Damon's jaw muscles rippled as he strained to get a grip.

"I'll take you home now." He breathed. Elena nodded gratefully.

The drive home was in silence but once stopped outside her house, Elena couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Thank you, for saving me." She blurted.

Damon smirked "Twice in one night." He gloated. "Three times, if you count Stefan!"

She rolled her eyes and got out of the car, "Elena?" he reached out and gripped her arm "You're welcome."

She hid a small smile, "Good Night Damon." But he saw it "Goodnight Elena."

...

Damon stared at his hands, sitting slumped on the sofa before the crackling fire. It was careless of him grabbing the wolf's mouth like that, but when he saw Elena in trouble all reason had fled.

One cut…he flexed his fingers and let his arms drop…it had healed it was gone.

Were the legends false, some kind of myth to keep the Vampires away from werewolves?

He certainly hoped so and it apparently seemed so.

He cringed inwardly; he'd kissed her on the pretence of cleaning the blood from her mouth. Adrenaline from the fight and the smell of her blood had him on a high, that and driven by the thought that maybe he would never get the chance to kiss her again.

He studied his hand again, rubbing the fingers together; one canine had pierced his skin between the fore and middle finger of his left hand. He hadn't realised until he let go of the wolf's dead body and then he ignored it having to deal with the slightly more pressing matter of Stefan having a mental attack: Stefan, the patron saint of brooding, introspection and sporadic uncontrollable bouts of violence.

At least Damon, most of the time anyway, went about his violent episodes with malice of forethought.

It was about time Stefan got handle on that, he couldn't be there forever to make sure…his eyes were drawn to his hand; suddenly eternity didn't seem so assured. Not that he'd ever believed he would live _forever_ but he'd certainly enjoyed the potential for it.

Damon didn't like this train of thought and resolved to chase it away with copious amounts of alcohol.

He heard his brother slip into the room as he poured himself a glass.

"Damon." Stefan said quietly.

"Hmm." Damon flapped a hand at him "Elena is home, she's fine."

Stefan sighed and raked his hand through his hair "Her arm?"

Damon schooled his face to stillness "I gave her some blood, all better." He took a gulp of the bourbon.

A flash of disapproval crossed Stefan's face and was gone; he nodded finally "That wolf got her pretty bad, thank God that were-wolf thing doesn't affect humans!"

Damon nodded and flashed his brows; he didn't want to think about that prospect.


	4. Chapter 4

...

Elena entered the boarding house to find Damon spread across the sofa an empty glass hanging forgotten from his fingers.

"What are doing?" she asked concerned.

His head levered up to look at her then dropped back to the pillows.

"Can't you tell?" he drawled. She studied him, one leg was hooked over the back of the sofa, the other half trailing the ground, and his arms spread wide. "Uh, no."

He sighed heavily "I'm seizing the day!" he announced "its okay if you don't see it, it's subtle."

"Oh." Elena approached and sat across from him on the empty seat, "Carpe Diem?"

He frowned "Isn't that a fizzy drinks brand?" he smirked at her.

Damon didn't much feel like being cooperative today; his hand was throbbing at the point where the cut had been, he was worried and thusly determined not to be and had regressed to the default setting of sheer bloody mindedness.

"So, what are you doing here?" He managed to sound like he actually couldn't think of a reason.

Elena was about to speak when Damon thrust his fingers to his temples.

"Wait!" he whispered dramatically "I'm getting something…Serge, Stephan…Stefan! You're here to see Stefan!"

Elena rolled her eyes "Is he here?"

Damon's hands flopped back down "Nope."

Elena figured it was probably a good time to leave, she had hoped to catch Stefan before he left for the grill but Damon's behaviour had her intrigued; he wasn't usually so…lethargic. She hesitated.

Damon wished she would leave; he hated how easily unsettled he became in her presence.

"Is everything okay?" she asked tentatively.

"Peachy! Why do you ask?"

Elena floundered "You seem upset about something."

"Can you read minds too?" he said sarcastically.

Elena bit back and angry retort he wasn't going to make this easy. "Damon…"

"If I tell you where Stefan is, will you go away?"

"If you tell me why you're upset, I will."

Damon swung his legs to the ground and sat up.

"Is this," Elena fiddled nervously with her jacket "Is this about the were-wolves, about me being a hostage?"

"Hostage?" he stood and glared down at her, Elena followed suit. "The word you're looking for is Sacrifice."

"Are you angry at me?" she questioned, not really surprised.

"No, I'm angry at myself," he sighed "I'd forgotten how much time you've been spending with Stefan." He grinned "That martyrdom complex is going to get you both killed, if only I'd known it was infectious!" he flashed his dark brows and made his way over to the drinks cabinet to pour himself something stiff.

She shook her head as much to clear her thoughts as disagree with him.

"Don't credit Stefan for influencing my actions!" she grated "The decision was mine; I alone take responsibility for my actions!"

Damon was shocked to hear her say something so akin to his own words but flashed a withering smile to hide it. He drank the whole glass in one and thumped it down hard, making her jump.

"I'm disappointed." He said suddenly.

She blinked "What?"

"I said I'm disappointed." Damon shrugged. "I'm surprised you'd give up so easily," he turned to look at her, seeing the hurt apparent in those dark eyes "I guess thinking you'd taken a leaf out of Stefan's book was wishful thinking on my part."

Elena gaped, so Damon continued, relentless "What did you think was going to happen?" he scoffed "That you'd die nobly for Caroline, for Stefan and everything would be dandy?" he snorted, managing to sound appalled while doing it.

She felt anger ignite; he made it sound like she was an imbecile, like he had expected more from her than simply laying down her life!

"Are you saying they're not worth it?" her voice was taught.

"I'm saying that you'd be dead and we'd still be in the same shit." Damon growled.

"My family, my friends, they're all in this mess because of me. I would die for them;" She glared up at him "I would have died for you!"

Damon didn't bat an eyelid he just rolled over her "You're not listening!" he shouted, all this talk of dying was making him antsy "I don't want you to die for me! None of us are worth _your_ life!"

His anger ebbed away "Can't you _Live_ for me instead."

Had she died that night, he thought bitterly, he could teach even Stefan a thing or two about brooding, that is, after he'd killed everyone and everything Jules held dear, he would have been vengeance incarnate.

Elena didn't know what to say, live for me, it echoed in her ears, she could take it how it had sounded or she could take it how he meant it.

"I _love _Stefan, I _live_ for Stefan."

Damon rolled his eyes; back to this again, he was beginning to get thoroughly sick of hearing that.

"Yeah. Right." He snorted.

Elena's expression darkened. "You doubt me?"

"It's funny how easily you forget, take last night for example, I didn't hear any complaints when I kissed you! You're just trying to _convince_ yourself that you still love only him."

"_Convince_ myself?" she seethed, "I'll _always_ love Stefan!"

"_Always_," he growled "Do you have until the end of time Elena, for your precious always?"

"Fine, I'll love him till I die then!"

He laughed scathingly "How _romantic_."

Elena screamed in frustration, lashing out at it's source but Damon as ever was too fast his hand snapping up to crush her wrist in an Iron grip.

"Why is it so hard for you to accept?" she yelled

"If you love him so much, convince me." He hissed "Convince me there's nothing here."

Damon's free hand grasped her slender throat, his thumb caressing along the line of her jaw fingers pressing against her pulse.

Forcefully drawing her mouth to his, he held her unmoving; lips parted and breath quickening in anticipation.

"Elena," his voice was barely audible, "_Convince me_."

She struggled to free herself but he was too strong. "Please, Damon."

He couldn't do this, this wasn't happening again. She loved Stefan, that kiss…Elena stared wide eyed into bright blue iris's, it was all she could see.

Just as quickly as it seemed certain to happen he released her.

Elena stood unsteadily, panting, unsatisfied and uncertain.

Damon dragged his fingers back through his hair, what the hell was he doing?

He had nothing to offer especially now if he ever even had before, it just made him so mad, wanting her, knowing there was something under the surface that she refused to acknowledge. Throwing Stefan in his face, always, over and over…

Damon spun stepped into her and locked his lips on hers.

Elena was completely unprepared, helpless against him and wanting, more than she would ever admit, to yield but with a sob turned her face away.

Damon's mouth hovered and they held poised; his hands, pressed gently at the sides of her face, slid back to tangle in her silken brown hair, drawing her as close as he dared before forcing her to turn her face to him again.

"Look at me." His voice was granite.

Elena forced herself to meet startling blue eyes and she could see the intent there, the desire.

"Please don't." She begged in a terrified whispered.

"Elena." He imbued her name with so much pain and yearning it was hard to recognise his voice.

Damon bent his head and brought his mouth to hers again, blue eyes fixed on brown.

He watched the constant steady stream of tears roll down Elena's face; he could taste the salt on her soft lips and a familiar hollow ache widened in his chest, a yawning chasm he could never fill. Damon knew he should stop but was angry now and pressed harder against her, his left hand fisting in her hair and tilting her head back, the right gripping her slender throat.

Damon turned his head sharply sliding his tongue over her lips, closing his eyes to block out the hurt in hers and Elena finally letting her eyes flutter shut, swallowed his tongue into her mouth, groaning as it rolled soft against her own.

The tension in Damon faded away as she responded, Elena's fingers ghosting over his jaw.

His hand slid to the small of her back pulling her up possessively, desperately, their mouths grasping and sucking in ever increasing urgency, both afraid to stop lest reality come crashing down.

Damon had to fight back tears, he hardly knew what was wrong with him only that she was kissing him back and the ache in his chest faded with every sweep of her tongue in his mouth, faded every time she squeezed his shoulders and drew him closer.

Shattering the moment her phone rang out.

They froze in place, gasping, holding each other, eyes wide in disbelief.

Elena's breasts pressed against his heaving chest rising and falling in unison, Damon couldn't bear to relinquish contact.

The phone pierced the air once again and they both flinched.

That's right; he was most likely a dead man and she was in love with his brother.

"You should answer it." He said shakily.

Elena shook her head.

"You shouldn't have kissed me like that." Her voice was barely audible.

"You shouldn't have kissed me back." He said huskily.

"This was a mistake."

Icy fingers grasped his heart and Damon eased a half smile, he should have expected this. "It's always a mistake."

"I love _Stefan_." Her voice shook.

"So you keep telling me."

"This isn't fair to him."

Damon laughed softly "…and we don't want life to be unfair for Stefan."

Elena swallowed thickly. "Damon?"

"Yes Elena."

She stared into his eyes, frightened by the detachment, by how quickly he'd fitted his walls back in place. She didn't think she could hate herself more than at this moment, but was unable to stop from driving the stake home.

"I, don't, love, you." Elena spoke with a brutal clear diction and Damon went rigid. His eyes glowed with an unhealthy light and Elena was afraid. Always convinced that he would never really hurt her physically, but at this moment all that self assurance fled.

He suddenly didn't look like _her_ Damon, if she ever had the right to call him that.

But he nodded finally "…You keep telling me that too."

Elena let out an audible sigh. He took a step away, feeling cold without her.

"If it makes you feel better Elena, I won't question your feelings for my brother again."

She nodded slowly, so he continued.

"I won't ask you what your feelings are for me ever again either."

"You're my friend Damon," She tried to smile. "I care for you as a friend."

Damon just stared at her, if this was what friends did to each other then he didn't want any. But he nodded just the same.

"Then just so we're clear, I will _never_ kiss you _ever again_."

Elena looked stricken "Thank you." Seemed the appropriate thing to say at this point, if she truly only loved Stefan she would have meant it too.

Damon smiled and nodded "Goodbye Elena."

"Goodbye Damon."

Listening for the door closing softly behind her; Damon approached the liquor cabinet, lifted a decanter and proceeded to drown his sorrows.

His hand throbbed as he lifted the glass, he flexed the fingers; it didn't really hurt.

...

Elena's heart was clenched in a painful fist.

That had devolved into an argument painfully similar to the one they'd had the night Damon had killed Jeremy.

He made her so angry dredging all those feelings up again, she was ready to fight him tooth and nail and just like that he'd let go leaving her with all that pent up emotion and nothing to do with it.

Watching him fight with himself, giving her that terrifying moment as she realised even through her anger she'd wanted him to kiss her so she could finally give in: so tired of fighting.

So when Damon finally kissed her Elena just fell apart, riddled with guilt and want and she'd hurt him but if he'd just stop pushing, stop tugging the lose threads on her heart, she wouldn't have to.

Tension radiated from him in waves, his whole body chained against what raged beneath, she could sense it: Passion and fervour straining for release.

He would never kiss her again…

It should have been a comfort to know that Damon was no longer pursuing her, no longer trying to convince her he was the superior choice, but it wasn't.

She should go back in…

She loved Stefan…

Stefan was waiting.

...

The grill was moderately busy as she entered, Stefan was easily spotted sitting as he was with a somewhat bland expression on his face. Elena felt herself relax when he smiled; she loved him, she forced herself to smile back and came to sit with him.

"Sorry if I'm a bit late." She mumbled.

"No, no, I haven't been here long."

She settled into their routine, being with Stefan was comfort, being with Stefan was safety.

Here with her boyfriend she felt more at ease to wonder what it would be like with Damon…passion, fire all consuming, when he said live for me he had meant it.

She swallowed hard and guzzled her drink to hide the look on her face.

Stefan was chatting about something and Elena berated herself for being selfish and turned her attention to the boy she…loved.

"I think we should go out more often." He confessed "I've missed this."

Elena tentatively reached out, caressing Stefan's face.

"I have too." She murmured.

He smiled and touched her hand. Elena realised she was waiting for a sigh, waiting for fire in his gaze, yearning, but there was nothing, a burst of affection maybe; love as always and why that suddenly wasn't enough was beyond her.

They ate in silence mostly; conversation was sparse which Elena was grateful for, she didn't know what to say and was afraid she'd just spill her guts about everything that happened with Damon.

Damon sucking blood off her lips when they came for her and Elena letting him kiss her this very day, this very afternoon, may as well be this very moment for it was all she could think about.

"Shall we go back to mine?" she asked hesitantly.

Stefan shrugged "Sure."

Inside his car Stefan took a deep breath and turned to her, momentarily breaking her train of thought. He's been avoiding bringing this up too long, the grill had not been the place but here at least there was a little privacy.

"Why did you do it Elena?"

Her heart came to a halt, oh no, he knew!

"Do what?" she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Why did you give yourself up to the Wolves, it was so reckless, you could have been killed!"

Elena sighed, partly relief and partly irritation.

"I've already had this conversation with Damon."

"Damon?" he exclaimed wide eyed.

"Yes." She ground her teeth "and he said I should…." She froze, _live for him_, best keeping that to herself. "…I should not do that." She finished weakly.

"Eloquent of him." Stefan muttered with more than a hint of jealousy.

Elena couldn't blame him, he had a right to be, whether he realised it or not.

"Well he's right. You shouldn't. I've a hard enough time protecting you from others let alone from yourself!"

Elena wanted to slap him but restrained herself. "A situation you put yourself in, not me." She jabbed a finger at his chest "If it's too hard for you by all means, back out!"

Stefan pinched his nose "That's not what I meant."

Elena crossed her arms slumping back in the seat.

"I just meant that, I worry so much about you, I need to know you can tell me what you're thinking. I need to know you trust me enough to get you out of these situations without resorting to sacrificing yourself."

Elena pursed her lips, that sounded reasonable enough, a damn sight too reasonable when she was itching for a fight to forget all things Damon: Ironically enough the only one who could make her forget with an argument _was_ Damon, almost to the point where there was nothing but him. Which was exactly her problem, she would forget Stefan, forget she loved him, forget everything; her world became the reason for the fight and then eventually her world became only Damon.

Elena sighed; she was too tired to argue anyway. "You're right." She conceded dully.

"I'm sorry."

Stefan shook his head "You don't need to apologize, you were trying to protect the people you love, I can understand. It's just that there are other ways to do that."

She nodded, he was right "I understand."

At the time it was all she could think of to keep them from harming Caroline and everyone, just like with Elijah. Her life for theirs, it had seemed a fair exchange…she realised how crazy that sounded but was unable to think otherwise.

"_I don't want you to die for me; none of us are worth your life!"_

"_Can't you live for me instead?"_

Elena tried to shake the words away but they held on stubborn are the man who said them.

Stop thinking about Damon, stop thinking about Damon…Stop it!

Stefan pulled up at her house and she leapt out.

Jenna was watching TV, giving a cursory wave as Elena dragged Stefan up to her room.

Stefan was happily surprised when she stretched up and started kissing with a passion that had been missing in their relationship for a while.

She pushed him down on the bed.

"What about Jenna, Jeremy, they're in the house?"

Elena silenced his protests with kisses "It doesn't matter." She said against his mouth.

She needed to forget, just for now, she needed Stefan to take the lead but still he hesitated.

"Elena?" he groaned. She ignored him.

"Elena!" he took her arms and pushed her back gently.

"You don't want to?" she murmured, sounding hurt.

"No, it's not that, it's just… you've been distant, what's wrong?"

She shook her head; for once she really wished Stefan wasn't so sensitive about her feelings.

Damon had her completely confused about everything, she just wanted to forget, to fall into the comfort of the familiar.

"Stefan, please just kiss me, stay with me tonight."

Stefan swallowed hard uncertain about the fragility in her voice, he slid his arms around her "I'll stay." He whispered.

...

Elena lay awake beside a soundly sleeping Stefan.

Every time she closed her eyes she could feel Damon's mouth on hers which wasn't conducive to sleep in the slightest.

His words were churning in her mind on repeat; you don't kiss a woman like that and then announce you'll never kiss her again. It was just too cruel, no; Elena thought sadly, she was cruel.

There was a rustling sound at the window and she sat up, watching the man himself clamber in. He put a finger over his mouth.

"Damon?" she croaked.

What was he doing, if Stefan woke? How was she going to explain this?

He knelt by the bed and reached out to caress her face, running the tips of his outstretched fingers over her mouth.

All coherent thought fled.

"Elena." His voice held pain and hurt like nothing she had heard before.

He leaned close, pressing his nose against her cheek, covetous lips centimetres from hers.

Elena drew her legs from the bed and he settled himself between them, accepting her response like there was no other way it could be, his broad hands stroking, the sensual sensation of skin on skin was her drug.

Almost at the point of hyperventilating, Elena's expression was anguished, eyes fluttering, giving terse little groans and gasps as expert exploring finger tips feathered over erogenous zones.

Damon never said another word and she had all but lost the ability.

The boy that lay beside her had lost his meaning, his identity, he no longer existed.

The man pressed so softly against her now was all. Elena was trapped within fathomless blue eyes.

Damon pulled the long silk slip up over her head, chocolate coloured hair fanning out over her slender shoulders and buried his face in the crock of her neck, nipping and sucking, his hand cradling her chin. He sat back, watching as she sucked his thumb into her mouth, licking his lips in response, imagining.

Slowly he extracted the thumb and started unbuttoning his shirt, exposing flawless rippling muscles. He didn't bother removing it only gathered her in his arms, the hard planes of his chest brushing against her soft breasts.

Elena kissed his shoulder, closing her thighs around his hips.

She knew vaguely something wasn't right but pushed it away. He'd been hurt enough.

Bringing his hands once again to cradle her face, Damon studied her, his focus skipping between her mouth and eyes.

She was afraid suddenly remembering what he had said. _"Never kiss you again."_ because _technically_ he had yet to.

Elena shattered the fragile silence "Please…" she breathed "kiss me."

Damon's lips curled into a wicked smile "But you don't love me." He whispered "Remember?"

She leaned in but he pulled away, keeping their distance static.

Elena gave a frustrated little moan and ground her cunt against his stomach, relying on a certain lack of restraint he often showed. He certainly looked torn, pupils blown, biting his lip.

"You would make a liar of me?" he growled through gritted teeth.

"You wouldn't be the only one." She breathed, understanding too well what she was almost admitting. He stared at her and everything became still.

"So we're both liars." He lifted his mouth to hers, smearing their lips together in a more than heated kiss. Elena came alive under his hands, opening to his tongue.

Damon groaned and pulled her writhing and naked from the bed and onto his lap.

She loved how he kissed her, that desperate need communicated in his touch, like it would be the last time, like she was more vital to him than oxygen.

Someone called her name and she pulled back to listen but Damon drew her in once more, she didn't resist, who could?

She heard it again more insistent now…

...Blinking groggily, Elena woke.

"You were talking in your sleep." Stefan murmured.

"I'm sorry," she said guiltily "did I wake you?"

She scanned the room, no Damon; she hoped she hadn't called out for him.

"No, it's time for me to go anyway. I need to hunt."

Elena nodded and lay back snuggling into the covers.

It had been a dream… of course it had been a dream, that must have been why it felt so strange, but even so like every other time he pushed against her limits she had relented, wanted it.

Elena simply couldn't think with Damon in her head…she wondered if he'd planted the dream.

No, she fingered the pendant at her throat and watched Stefan dress. She knew she should tell him but what would she say? Elena was too confused about what she really felt and for whom she really felt it. Oh she loved Stefan, she knew that much at least. It was just with Damon, she didn't know whether to love him or hate him...no, no...not love. It was attraction, chemistry, they had a spark...who was she kidding it was more like a full blown inferno.

Stefan brushed a kiss on her lips and whispered goodbye before leaving through the window. Elena felt wretchedly guilty.

She should never have kissed Damon back.

...

Damon was staring at his hand again, this was becoming an irritatingly frequent occurrence but right now he figured he could forgive himself.

This morning he had woke up and the cut had returned. He hadn't even noticed until the sting from the hot water of his shower, he must have stood for an hour after that just looking at it.

It seemed he was going to die for Elena after all…it felt strange thinking that, like an out of body experience and what annoyed him was how easily this could have been avoided. One simple puncture wound was going to be the end of over a century and a half of existence.

Apparently he was feeling pretty deep this morning, but looking over his life in retrospect seemed the appropriate response to this event.

He dressed as usual, got a blood bag and perched himself on the granite counter in the kitchen, drinking the blood and watching how the cut didn't close.

Maybe he needed a fresh source. Damon barked a laugh, it echoed hollow through the house. He knew that wouldn't make a difference.

So, he needed a cure then? Part and parcel of the myth was the glaring fact that there was none, this really wasn't helping to lighten his mood.

He very much wanted to take revenge, but Jules was dead, the now headless dark grey wolf had been her. Caroline had confirmed the identity of a number of the bodies.

He smiled darkly; well he did tell her he'd have her head.

Damon flexed his fingers, open and closed over and over in an almost sadistic fashion. He could tell instinctively this pain was going to get a whole lot worse; he needed to find out what lay in store.

He threw the blood bag aside and strode out of the kitchen, scanning the library for any books on were-wolves.

He was already vaguely aware that they had nothing pertaining to this subject but he looked anyway, he needed something to do.

"Damon!" Stefan whined loudly, "Why is there blood all over the floor!"

Damon ignored him as he stormed out of the Kitchen, "I have a hard enough time as it is without you making things worse." He growled.

"It's your Blood resistance training." Damon said absently. May as well, he thought.

"What?"

"Blood, Resistance, Training." He repeated in a slow patronizing voice, never bothering to look round from the books. "You are now enrolled in Damon's school of awesomeness, lesson 1 How to Control ones Urges."

"What is this Damon?" Stefan was confused.

Damon groaned, "Leave teacher alone, he's very busy."

"Damon?" Stefan was angry now.

He rolled his eyes and pressed his head against the leather bound volumes before him.

"I can't be there every time you decide you wanna suck your girlfriend dry now can I?" He rolled round leaning his back against the stack.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Damon smiled "That's just wishful thinking; what ever would you do without me?"

Stefan frowned "Live happily without incident."

Damon nodded "Blame-Damon-Day is it?" He cooed affectionately "It comes round so fast every year; it almost feels like _every day_."

"Lesson 2, The Proper Allocation of Blame." He went back to studying the library.

"What are you looking for?"

Damon considered not telling him, but two pairs of eyes were better than one, Stefan wouldn't suspect his current condition.

"Supernatural myths," he said "specifically were-wolf and Vampire interaction."

"I'm not sure we have anything like that," he said slowly scanning the shelves half heartedly "Why do you need it?"

Damon sighed "Must there be a _reason_ for everything, can there be no _mystery_ in the world?"

Stefan snorted "You always have a reason."

Damon stilled his search "That's not _strictly_ true, now is it?"

Stefan shrugged noncommittally.

"What about were-wolf bites, I want something on that."

Stefan would have asked why again but he could see the logic in knowing all there was to know on the subject in case were-wolf problems arouse in future.

"I can't think of anything." Stefan looked in earnest this time.

Damon grunted, wishing they'd taken the time to properly alphabetise the books; this could be so much easier.

"Is this lesson 3?" he asked suddenly. Damon stared at him "Huh?"

"Know thy enemy?"

Damon smirked "Something like that."

...

**Thank you for all reviews so far, it's really nice to hear from you.**


	5. Chapter 5

**You might recognise a few scenes...**

...

Elena was in a better mood now class was over. With everything that was going on these past few days, school and its related activities were, understandably the last thing on her mind. So the quality of homework and assignments had taken a bit of a hit. A few of the teachers thought they'd bring it up because that was exactly what she needed to worry about straight after a kidnapping.

Stefan had last period free so he'd scarpered before the school day officially ended. He'd wanted to get something or other before their date…

Waiting at the boarding house for him seemed like a good idea until of course she was standing in front of it, suddenly acutely aware of her last meeting with Damon.

Not to mention that dream.

She'd just go in apologise for giving him the wrong impression or at least being so blunt in her rebuttal and that would be that…

Standing there staring at the door was only prolonging the inevitable, Elena walked in.

He watched her come toward him like a hawk watches a field mouse.

Elena took pains in keeping her face blank, a check list of things she was not allowed to think about in his presence being ticked off in her head.

Like how well that dark grey shirt hugged his torso and how snug those black jeans looked and how much she wanted to run her fingers through his hair.

_Damn it woman control yourself!_

"Stefan isn't home yet." He said.

"I know." She answered quickly.

He frowned at her and crossed his arms, waiting.

"Damon, I just wanted to apologise for the other night, for…"

"Speaking your mind?" he interrupted. Elena frowned.

"There's no need to apologise for saying what you mean."

Reasonable enough, but she couldn't help hearing the coldness in his voice.

"I always speak my mind," he rolled his shoulders "I find it gratifying."

"Well, it wasn't so much what I said," She confessed "more how I said it."

He shrugged "Accepted."

Elena stared at him…"Aren't you going to apologise?" she asked irritably.

Damon shook his head "You only say sorry if you get one in return?"

"No!"

"That's what it sounds like."

"You could at least be a little apologetic about your behaviour too."

"Oh, you mean when _I_ spoke _my _mind! You're the only one allowed to do that?"

"Don't put words in my mouth!"

"I'm not putting anything in your mouth," he smirked "not today at least."

"Damon!" she bristled

"What?" he groaned.

"You're doing this on purpose."

"Doing what?"

"Trying to get under my skin."

His eyes slowly appraised her person. "So when I'm not putting things in your mouth, I'm getting under your skin?" he leaned in "Is there anything I do to you that doesn't have a physical affect?"

"Damon!" she sighed exasperated.

"What difference would it make Elena?" he asked, the cool indifference sliding off like a layer of ice under hot anger. "Would it ease _my_ conscience or _yours_?"

"You have a conscience Damon?" she took the opportunity to ease the building tension, gently teasing instead. She wasn't going to get anything serious out of him today.

"There are rumours," he lifted his chin "none of which have been confirmed."

"If I said I'd seen it?"

"It'd be like saying you saw big-foot or aliens, no one would believe you."

"What if I had evidence?"

"What if you did, who cares?"

"I care." She said softly, insistent.

He rolled his eyes "That's sweet, but the last thing I need is another fan girl."

Elena made a face and Damon changed the subject, "So, where are you going for your date?"

"The grill." She answered.

Damon's eyes glazed over "I don't know how you can stand the excitement."

Elena twitched, letting that hang; he would not get another rise out of her, she was Zen.

"Judging by my brother's absence I can assume he's just as psyched as you are."

Elena pouted "Stefan said he'd be a little late, he's picking something up."

Damon made a sound in his throat "So you came early especially to talk to me?"

Elena arched her brow at him, "I'm flattered." He said, mimicking her expression.

Stefan arrived loaded down with books, "Hey Damon, I found these, are you still looking for stuff on were-wolves?"

Damon blinked and took the books from his brother, his eyes held steady to Stefan's face and surprising everyone in the room said "Thank you." With a degree of earnest feeling neither Elena nor Stefan had heard in a long time.

A small unsure smile flickered over Stefan's face "It was no problem."

Damon didn't register the reaction of the two; simply set the books beside the sofa picked one out and started reading.

Stefan stared at his brother for a long time, like he was seeing a ghost.

Elena was inclined to do the same, Damon so rarely showed what was underneath that hard exterior and when he did it was like the clouds had parted and a ray of sunshine warm and golden fell upon you.

She reached out and tugged gently on Stefan's coat. "Come on." She murmured softly, leading him away. Better to leave before the clouds rolled in again.

...

Damon was still reading when they returned. He looked passively down at the pages, strangely subdued, it was unsettling "Hello Damon." She said.

His eyes lifted from the book like he hadn't been reading, just staring blindly at the text.

"Hello Elena." He shot her his famous half smile and cast the book aside, rising smoothly to his feet.

Stefan wondered over to the small assorted pile of tattered leather bound books teetering beside the sofa. "Anything new?"

"Nope!" Damon slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged, "Well, not if you don't count a detailed description of the symptoms leading up to death from a bite."

Stefan shivered "Symptoms?"

He nodded "Spread of the wound, nausea, increased craving for blood, extreme pain, derangement and general delirium." Damon delivered the list in a hallow recitation, the words indelibly burned into his brain: something to look forward to then.

Elena swallowed hard, relieved beyond words that none of them had got bitten during her rescue.

"That's horrible." She breathed, "To think if one of you had been bitten trying to save me, I…"

How guilty she would feel, it would have been her fault. Her dark eyes landed on Damon, he smiled strangely.

"But we weren't!" Stefan soothed, reaching out and taking Elena's hand.

"Besides," Damon drawled, leaning back against the sofa, looking every inch the fashion model, "We knew the risks, we still went." He glanced at Stefan, who was staring at him.

"We all did." Stefan confirmed.

"Exactly! No harm done." Damon whirled away and poured himself a drink, necked it, poured another, necked it too and a third which he swirled in his hand.

"Oh I'm sorry," he said mordantly, noticing her staring "Did you want one?" he lifted a glass to her, she shook her head.

"No thank you."

"Stefan? You gonna leave me hanging?" Damon waggled the drink.

"I'm good." He said.

"Why am I not surprised?" he smirked and proceeded to down the contents of that too.

"Slow down Damon!" Elena walked toward him; he set his eyes on her, a momentary flash of rage passing across his face halting her progress. Stefan hadn't noticed.

Damon visibly took hold of himself and set the glass aside approaching slowly.

"Elena." He said calmly, coming to a stop inches from her. "Would it kill you to leave me in peace for once?"

Stefan grimaced finally aware of Damon's proximity to his girlfriend "Come on Elena; leave him to self destruct alone."

Elena frowned between them, conflicted, there was something wrong.

"Good old Stefan," Damon said, "I can always depend on you for moral support."

Elena studied him. "Stefan, can I talk to Damon alone, for a minute?"  
"No you can't." Damon answered for him. "_Damon_ is going out."

Elena went to reach for his hand but he wrenched it away taking her aback.

"Damon?" she panted, shocked by his reaction.

Stefan was at her side in a heart beat, glaring at his brother, "What's wrong with you!"

Damon nearly laughed "I'm going to assume that was a rhetorical question."

He looked like he wanted to say something more but stopped himself, his mouth tightening "I'll see you later I'm sure." He lifted his jacket from the chair and walked out.

Elena was left gaping after him.

...

Damon started his car and drove to the nearest night club, alcohol and loose women were exactly what he needed.

When Elena and Stefan had left for date night, _how terribly romantic_, he'd doubled his efforts to find anything he could on the wolf bites and he'd found what he was looking for and read and reread, over and over until they got back.

In near constant blinding pain and completely out of his mind was how his world was coming to an end, basically, he was fucked.

Should he tell them? He shook his head to dislodge the thought.

There was so much pain and worry in Elena's life she didn't need this hanging over her. Stefan…Damon made a good show of not giving a shit what Stefan did with himself but just the same he didn't want his little brother worrying.

Damon didn't need their pity.

There was nothing any of them could do. There was no cure for a werewolf bite, the books took great pleasure in relaying that fact too.

Damon entered the bar and threw himself on the bar seat, he was going to drown himself with liquor and women and love every minute of it.

It didn't take very long, a slinky creamy skinned brunette found her way to him, spreading cheery red lips in a gorgeous smile.

"Excuse me." She purred "My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning."

Damon glanced over to said friend, a giggling curvaceous blonde.

"Why bother," he smirked "She can come too."

She pouted a little at that, reappraising him slowly. Damon tilted his head, his smile widened fractionally. She was up for it; he had a sixth sense about these things.

"Kitty, come here."

How appropriate he thought, as she came for her friends call.

"This _boy"_ it was his turn to pout "wants to know if you'd like a three-way."

Direct, his kind of girl.

Kitty cocked her head, letting golden curls fall over her face.

He slid off the stool his body slightly touching against hers as if by accident and he curled her hair back gazing into her eyes like he was seeing her soul.

He let his hand follow the Locke of hair down her slender throat, butterflying against her collar bone.

"Come on kitten." He whispered huskily against her ear. "Do you want me to beg?"

She gave a little shiver. Damon glanced back at the brunette letting his gaze play over her mouth then slowly find her eyes again.

She smiled, "First, drinks."

Kitty, now dubbed kitten hung over him like a fur stole petting and stroking and purring.

The brunette, who's name was Amy, was more content to sit back and watch, a little more on the side of the voyeur, after a couple of vod&cokes however she was a lot more hands on.

Trying to get the girls in the car was interesting, Damon struggling with the keys while kitten was undoing his jeans, Amy doing marvellous little tricks with her tongue in his ear, making it very difficult to concentrate.

Once the door was thrown open, Amy was thrown in Damon fast after and Kitten latching on to his back like a limpet, locking his arms so he couldn't touch.

"Ah ah ah," she cooed "Let Amy take care of business."

Amy got busy finishing Kittens original mission and sliding soft supple fingers into his jeans released his hardening dick.

"Well!" she exclaimed thrilled at the sight.

"But, do you know what to do with it?" she teased

Damon wriggled out of Kittens grasp and let his hands glide up Amy's bare thighs taking her skirt up to the waist, "Let me show you." He murmured.

_..._

Damon sat back staring into the crackling fire.

There was no point trying to pretend this wasn't happening, just like there was no point dwelling on it.

He just had to let go.

Easier said than done, letting go meant Elena and while he hardly dared hope she would one day turn to him, it didn't stop him from waiting and the longer he had to wait only served to intensify what he felt. But now there was nothing for him to offer, nothing to wait for and no time to wait with.

Damon groaned, he wasn't nearly drunk enough for this line of thought, not by half!

Stefan came and sat by him.

"You want to tell me why you got so angry earlier?"

Damon thought about it briefly "No."

Stefan's mouth tightened but restrained himself from pushing, he wanted to reach out. Something about Damon's reaction earlier, before the outburst, had shown him the man from long ago. The man he alone felt responsible for destroying.

Damon stood about to leave.

"Hey." Stefan called after him and Damon turned "What?" he grumbled.

"I'm sorry."

Damon made a face "About what?"

Stefan took a deep breath "For being the guy who made you turn 145 years ago."

Damon didn't know how to react, but he did know he'd had enough of this sentimental bullshit.

"Enough Stef, it's late, don't need to rehash that."

"Uh well," Stefan stood, shoving his hands deeply in his pockets "You know what, I've never said it out loud." He stepped forward as Damon again turned away. "I guess I just need to say it and you need to hear it."

"I'm Sorry." Stefan repeated "What I did was selfish. I didn't want to be alone."

Damon turned to face him, not sure whether to be angry or shocked, Stefan continued "Guess I just needed my brother."

Damon stared hard at his expression, seeking the truth in the words, trying to block out the distrust that said Stefan was justifying what he'd done not really apologising.

He wasn't sure he could ever forgive Stefan and now after everything, he would be alone anyway.

Damon never said a word and Stefan nodded and left, he'd said what he'd come to say.

Defiantly not drunk enough…. Damon made a beeline for the alcohol, his hands freezing on the bottle and glass. Stefan, he nearly laughed, such an earnest little kid, always.

Damon leaned over the table, pressing his palms against the top and hanging his head tiredly.

He felt like a worthless son of a bitch, why did Katherine have to choose them, why did he have to love her, why did he love Elena?

He took a deep restorative breath, Elena, his heart ached.

He'd let go of her and since this was a night for revelations he too had something that needed to be said.

Consider it a nail in the coffin.

...

Elena walked out from the bathroom to find Damon sitting at the ledge by her window.

"Cute PJs." He gave her a smile, uncharacteristically forced.

She glanced about nervously "I'm tired Damon." She was still angry about earlier.

He stood smoothly and lifted his hand swinging her necklace back and forth "You shouldn't take this off."

Elena took a slow breath reaching out "Thank you." But he drew his hand away, the smile slipping.

She tensed "Please give it back." Elena didn't want to beg but…

"I just have to say something." He stepped toward her and she flinched away, trying and failing not to feel afraid.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" she challenged.

Damon hesitated, frowning; he didn't want to come to that part just yet.

"Well, because what I'm about to say …" he focused on her eyes finding himself unusually diffident in this situation.

"…is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."

His voice was strained and she knew immediately what was coming.

"Damon," she breathed "Don't go there."

She couldn't do this again.

He spread his hands "No, I just have to say this once," he placated "you just need to here it."

He was closer now and looking her dead in the eyes with a certainty she'd never seen on his face before.

"I love you Elena,"

Her mouth fell open, she'd _not_ expected _this_.

"…and it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you."

His voice started to break, pain clear on his face "I don't deserve you." He breathed "But my brother does."

Elena's mind raced, she didn't know what to do or say. She gasped as he leaned in placing a chaste kiss upon her forehead and stared at his lips in awe when he drew away again.

She would have kissed him; there was no question in her mind.

Damon pushed her soft dark hair back with hesitant fingers "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this," he stroked her face, a single tear he could no longer hold at bay spilling from his eyes "But you do."

...

Stefan had taken the _Know thy Enemy _lesson to heart and the next day found Damon flicking through yet another musty book on vampire lore at his behest. Damon was happy to go all literary in his pursuit of a way to kill Elijah and Klaus. Not that he let Stefan see.

Besides it was a nice change from reading about his own inevitable demise.

Admittedly this was not his usual direction, Damon preferred action as opposed to sitting around thinking about it but unfortunately his current situation didn't afford him that luxury.

He was slowly weakening and the originals were irritatingly powerful not to mention difficult to find.

He had a bad feeling that he would never get close to Klaus; Elijah would come and take Elena away before he could do anything and Damon hated feeling helpless; he _needed_ to do something for her before it was too late but most of these volumes were longwinded nonsense.

The front door swung open admitting Alaric, wrapped in his long arms three large manuscripts. Stefan must have roped him into the search too.

Damon squinted at him, didn't anyone use the doorbell?

"Rick, what are you doing in my house?"

"I came to spend time with you Damon." He called back sarcastically, struggling to close the door with his arms full. Damon didn't bother helping.

"Don't you have any friends your own age?"

"No," he grunted, kicking the door over "I happen to enjoy the company of undead geriatrics."

Damon's brows rose to his hairline. "Do I look like a geriatric to you?"

"Didn't anyone tell you, it's what's on the inside that counts?"

Damon smirked "Not when they're looking at this face." His eyes swept the books and he stood "Are those for me?"

Alaric handed over three tattered tomes and Damon skimmed the front few pages before noticing Alaric still standing there.

"Still here?"

Alaric shrugged.

"See." He snapped the book closed "No one can resist this." He motioned down his slender body with a flourish.

Alaric snorted, "So why are you suddenly chief librarian?"

Damon made a face; he didn't particularly want to answer that. "Drink?" he deflected.

Alaric nodded.

Damon poured two glasses of Bourbon, discarding the books on the sideboard.

He scrubbed a hand over his brow and sighed, may as well.

"I'll sleep a lot better at night once we've found a way to kill those _pesky_ originals."

Alaric blinked in surprise "Giving you nightmares Damon?"

He grinned around the glass rim and took a swig. "Let's just say _I hate_ mysteries."

Alaric grunted "Yeah."

"What's up?" Stefan walked in with Elena in tow.

Alaric nodded in greeting; Damon suppressed a groan and emptied his glass into his gullet for some much needed fortification.

"Rick and I were just discussing the best way to dispatch originals." He said "I favour dismemberment, a highly undervalued method."

Stefan grimaced and Elena looked a little ill remembering the wolves.

"I don't think that will work Damon." Stefan said in a long suffering tone.

Damon shrugged "Well, it's decided then."

"What is?" Stefan blinked.

The idea was as yet not fully fledged but Damon figured there was no time like the present.

"I'm going to Duke." He answered "Isobel researched more than just Katherine, right Rick?"

Alaric nodded "Anything and everything on vampires." He agreed "That might actually be a good idea."

Elena spoke out for the first time since entering "If you're going, I'm going."

"Can't bear to be parted from me for a day?" Damon flashed a half smile.

Elena's chin rose and Stefan stepped between them addressing his girlfriend, "You don't need to go, Damon can do it."

"But I _want_ to go; all this is for my sake." She spread her hands to encompass the room, overflowing with old books and appendices. "I want to help."

Damon pouted and cocked his head, fine let her help, he thought. "Can you be ready in an hour?"

"_Damon_!" Stefan warned, but Elena pressed her hand to his chest, "Elena, this is not necessary, Damon can go _alone_."

"It is necessary." She insisted "You want me to live for you…" Elena felt Damon's eyes on her as soon as the words left her mouth, Arctic holes burning into her, she looked at him: she couldn't help it.

"…don't you?" she breathed throatily, her heart beating wildly in her chest, trapped like a caged bird behind her ribs. The faintest flicker of something passed behind his eyes, barest perceptible tightening of his lips, when it really mattered, Damon was as easy to read as Sumerian cuneiform.

"I'm going with you." Stefan said stiffly, wary of the silent communication between his brother and his girlfriend and unsettled by her racing heart.

"Uh," Alaric interrupted. "Someone needs to stay and keep an eye on things, especially with these wizard guys…"

Elena finally tore her gaze from Damon and smiled unsteadily up at Stefan trying her best to pacify him.

"I'll be alright Stefan; we don't have to worry about Elijah for a while," at least she hoped so, she glanced at Damon from the corner of her eye, catching his knowing look "I want to be of some use, we'll be there and back before you know it."

He nodded reluctantly and Damon exploded into action "Well, now our trip is _Stefan approved_ do you mind if we get a move on?"

Elena placed a quick kiss on Stefan's lips and followed Damon away.


	6. Chapter 6

...

"What are these?" Elena lifted a frilly piece of clothe from between the leather cushions of the car seat. Damon took them and spread the material, "This, Elena, is a thong; you do own such things I assume?"

She blushed. Damon smirked and tossed it behind him.

Kitty and Amy, Good times!

"You modern women are so forward." He teased.

Elena was disgusted, the thought of Damon shagging some random woman in the car where she sat was…well, damn it, it was outrageous and terrible and she was seething with jealousy.

"You shouldn't treat women like that!" she muttered.

"Like what?"

"Like disposable sex toys! I mean, you could have at least taken her somewhere nice instead of, of…"

"Fucking her in the car?" he finished for her.

"Yes!" she shouted.

He nodded, "Trust me they were more than willing about the venue, I think the whole car thing really turned them on." He revved the engine.

Elena folded her arms angrily, he was so uncouth…wait a second, did he say _they_?

"Wait, don't tell me Stefan hasn't given you one in a car before?" he feigned horror.

She hadn't realised she could get any redder until now.

"No?" he leaned toward her, "The shower?"

Elena felt herself slowly shrinking "The floor, the great outdoors?"

She risked glancing at him from the corner of her eye, he really did look genuinely appalled now, "Anywhere other than the bed?" Her lack of response was deafening.

He sat back, taking her silence as affirmation. "Really?"

Lesson 4, Sex in Strange Places.

Elena was thoroughly mortified. "Can we not talk about this please?"

There was absolutely nothing wrong with the bed…it was soft and warm and...

"He's gotta have tried the bath?"

"Damon!" she groaned.

"My god!" he breathed. "You realise what an absolute travesty this is, right?"

"I mean, I knew he was dull but I don't think I fully grasped to what extent!"

He shook his head "I think I pity you, an eternity of… "

"What eternity? I never said I would turn for him!" Elena chose this moment to change the subject although she found she liked this one even less.

"I don't think Stefan would want that life for me." She stated with feeling.

Damon shrugged "Yeah, but eventually you'll want this life for you."

"How so?" She stared at him in earnest, he was serious.

"You'll get old Elena; Stefan will stay the same, forever 17,"

Elena stared at him blankly.

"Oh he'll still love you but … "

Elena bowed her head, "So if I loved him and wanted to be with him, I should chose to change?"

"Wouldn't you?" his voice had softened a little seeing how affected she was by the topic.

"What about you Damon?"

He glanced at her surprised "What about me?"

"Would you love me when I was old and worn out?"

Damon studied her sad expression; his heart surging forward in his chest.

_I would have loved you until your death, but I only have time to love you until mine_. He thought bitterly, when did he get to be such a sap?

Damon needed to remind himself of the rather heated conversation in the house not long ago, no talking about his feelings.

"You think I'm going to hang around that long?" he asked.

"Aren't you?" She wanted that back as soon as she said it.

"Wow" he laughed "and you say I'm self centred!"

She cringed, it was unfair to expect him to be around for her whole life, especially since she was dating his brother and wanting him to be there was cruel.

The thought of growing old while Stefan and Damon remained young, watching the desire fade, watching love fade.

She felt sick.

He sighed heavily. "Elena?"

"What?"

"Stop thinking about it." He commanded.

She blinked.

"Stefan." He emphasized the name more than he intended "will love you for as long as you live, however you chose to live." He reached across brushing her hair back from her face.

His tone was ever playful, failing only at the last to be mocking. "You needn't fear."

...

It was raining heavily when they arrived at Duke; the campus was dreary and Spartan.

Damon parked up and they headed for the supernatural department or whatever they were calling it. It was empty.

The young woman from their last trip was nowhere in sight. So Damon used a little initiative and popped the lock to Isobel's study.

Elena looked over all the rows of seemingly endless books and took a deep breath; this was going to take an age.

"Still glad you came?" Damon asked with a knowing smile.

Elena sighed resignedly "Two pairs of eyes are better than one."

She could still clearly remember the last time they were here. He had saved her life; if that stake had been a few inches lower…Elena didn't want to think about that. Strange how things change, at the time there was no love lost but now, the thought of life without Damon didn't sit comfortably with her at all.

Damon shrugged off his sodden jacket and tossed it over a chair then set to. Elena took a moment to ogle his clinging wet white T-shirt appreciatively before following suit.

The books were alphabetised to the nth degree in such a convoluted system it was difficult to find O in the O section.

They read and tossed books aside until the light of day started to fade and Elena's eyes started to ache.

They must have arrived after the department shut for the day, which was a small blessing; Elena wanted to keep the compulsions to a minimum. Damon worked with a conviction she was not often privy to, when he put his mind to something it became his obsession and she was seeing it first hand. She thought of all those years he'd waited for Katherine, seeking a way to free her.

"Is there any reason in particular why you're staring at me?" he said absently flipping one page after the other, speed reading.

Elena twitched, a small blush of embarrassment creeping up her throat. "I was just thinking."

"Does looking at me help?" He didn't look up.

"When I'm thinking about_ you_, yes." She said boldly.

Damon's eyes flickered over her and he arched his brow. "Something you want to ask me Elena?"

"Actually yes." She licked her lips unsure whether this was wise.

Damon slid his finger in the pages and closed the book, sitting back and waiting, the book now dangling from his hand, forearm rested upon raised knee.

"Do you still love Katherine?"

"Still?" he questioned.

"…After everything that she's done." Elena was afraid to meet his eyes for a moment but willed herself to anyway.

He didn't look angry only curious.

Damon said nothing for a long time; making her wonder if he would ever answer.

His bright burning eyes never left hers but she could tell he wasn't really seeing her; he was lost in some other time thinking about Katherine. Elena felt the sting of Jealousy and not for the first time.

She wished she hadn't brought this up, for some reason or other her feelings for Stefan always came into question when she thought of love and Damon.

Ne'er the twain shall meet? She used to think so.

"Why do you want to know?"

His question surprised her more than it should have. "You waited for her for over a century and a half! I just…"

"Are you questioning my loyalty?" he smirked "Afraid I'll go to the dark side?"

"No!" Elena burst. "Of course not!"

"So why is it so important?" he pushed.

Elena floundered and drowned, she wasn't going to tell him something she hardly knew herself.

Damon's mouth tightened and he sighed, reopening the book to study its contents.

"Probably," He said.

Elena jerked, "What does that mean?"

"…but not like I used to." He continued ignoring her question.

Elena nodded "oh." She wasn't sure how to react to that and he didn't give her time.

"You'd know something about that, right Elena?"

"About what?" she tilted her head.

"Finding your feelings changed, finding someone else you love _more_." He said, completely at ease.

Elena pushed her hair back nervously, fidgeting "What do you mean?" she sputtered.

Oh my god, what did he mean!

Damon studied her for a moment before going back to reading his book "Didn't you date Matt before you meet Stefan?"

Elena could have died of relief, right Matt. "Yeah." She said breathlessly. Elena ghosted the back of her hand across her brow, she was sweating!

"I'm hungry." She said faintly, feeling completely drained.

Damon stood and stretched, rolling his shoulders. "We'll need to stay here over night." He stated "So you should phone who you need to."

He threw down the book and fetched his now dried Jacket "I'll find us some food."

Elena watched him leave and slid her phone out, texting Jenna and hesitating over Stefan…call or text? He would be annoyed that she was staying the night.

She wasn't really concentrating when she hit the dial button, still remembering the way Damon looked at her, _finding someone else you love more…_

_You're just trying to convince yourself that you still love him._

Countless arguments echoed in her head, _"Elena?"_

What was Damon insinuating, did he think she felt something for him? She supposed he had a right to _"Hello?"_ she'd kissed him back after all…

"_Hello, Elena!"_

She jerked back "Hello?"

She'd forgotten about Stefan "Stefan, sorry, Hi."

"_Is everything okay?"_

"Oh yes!" she smiled down the phone.

"_Okay… Why are you calling? Are you on the way back?"_

"Uh," Elena grimaced "No, we're gonna have to stay the night."

The line went silent.

"_Why?"_

"We haven't found anything useful; we need to be sure we've checked all avenues."

She could here him sigh down the receiver"_Alright. Will you be back tomorrow?"_

"Maybe, more than likely." She stressed trying to sound sure.

"_Just be careful, I don't know when Elijah might appear, so... just be careful."_

"I will, I promise."

"_Bye, I love you."_

"Bye…"

Wait a minute, had Damon admitted he was in love with her…she hung up and shoved the phone in her pocket.

"_Finding your feelings changed, finding someone else you love more."_

She ran what he'd said over and over in her mind, analyzing his expression, his tone. Elena froze, why did that matter?

She'd known he was in love with her, she did...sort of... but hearing him say it. Actually say it to her face, wouldn't that make a difference?

Elena slumped in her seat and pouted at the floor.

But she did love Stefan _"…but not like I used to." _His voice whispered in her head and she threw a book across the room with no small force.

"I'm gone all of five minutes and you're wrecking the place!" Damon stepped in the door, a brown paper bag in hand.

Elena smiled abashed "I'm sick of books." She said truthfully enough.

Damon tossed her the bag "Chinese." He announced, sweeping his arm across the table sending papers and manuscripts everywhere.

"Hey, who's wrecking the place now?"

"Yes, but it's expected of _me_." He smirked.

Elena tore open the bag and handed out fortune cookies, cracking hers open and munching while she read the small paper.

"What does yours say?" she glanced over at Damon, who was laughing.

"You needn't worry about your future." He answered. "What about yours?"

"The one you love is closer than you think." She said tonelessly.

Damon grinned at her and started eating his noodles, Elena did the same and the less said about her fortune the better.

Damon stopped abruptly and put the box down, sitting back in his chair taking deep slow breaths.

"Is everything okay?"

He nodded, swallowing thickly "Fine, I'm just not in the mood for Chinese."

Elena took in his pale face "When did you last feed?"

"Are you offering?" he quirked an eyebrow at her and Elena didn't immediately dismiss the idea. He really didn't look well and she wasn't at all sure how long it was safe for vampires to go without blood.

His expression became serious when she didn't answer. She could see him weighing his options; Elena knew her silence was becoming increasingly meaningful.

"If you need it." She stammered.

Damon gave himself a shake "How do you feed Stefan?"

Elena blushed "From a small cut on my hand usually, just a few drops."

"That's not going to cut it for me." He murmured.

Elena could remember when Damon licked the blood from her arm, incredible turn on, nothing like when she feed Stefan. He was always a little too uptight; she could never feel completely comfortable around him like that, though she tried.

"Don't worry Elena." He shoved back his seat and stood, ambling over to the pile of discarded books "I don't need it." He sighed and made himself comfortable, sliding down the bookcase onto the floor.

He looked tired!

Were those bags under his eyes! It wasn't like she hadn't seen him exhausted before, it's just he always managed to do it while looking like a supermodel.

Elena was worried. "Damon, if you need blood, I'll give it to you."

He grimaced "What _would_ Stefan have to say if I took a chunk out of _his girlfriend_?"

She could imagine _exactly_ what he would say, right down to the expression on his face when he found out, but Elena cared about Damon, if he needed blood to get back to peek fitness then why not hers?

"Should I cut myself then?"

"That would be ill advised." Damon rolled his eyes. "You have no idea how much I get off on drinking blood, do you?"

Actually she kind of did, if the car incident was a good indicator.

He smiled when she didn't answer "_Oh! _It seems I wasn't the only one!"

Elena winced; she should have said something instead of letting that hang.

She glared at him, stalked over to the desk, lifted a letter opener and put it to her wrist.

One minute Damon was sitting on the floor the next his chest was flush against hers and the knife wrenched roughly from her fingers.

"So stubborn." he muttered stabbing the blade into the side of the desk top behind her.

"I'm not the one being stubborn." She growled "You don't look well. I don't want you attacking some random and killing them when the thirst gets too much, especially when I know I can help."

Damon studied her concerned expression, stroking long dark hair over her shoulders, exposing the pale skin of her throat. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." she said instantly.

His eyes reddened and he dragged sharpened teeth over the soft flesh of his bottom lip. So unashamed of his needs it was almost refreshing only a slight apprehension preventing her from fully succumbing to the moment, she was afraid it would hurt. The only experience she had off being bitten was Stefan... Guilt threatened but she shoved it down. Damon needed blood, she was doing this because he _needed_ it. Stefan would understand that...

He bent his head to her neck brushing his lips over her pulse, feeling it flutter full and throbbing with blood. Elena shivered; her body excited by his touch more than was seemly.

"Don't be frightened," he whispered, the soft voice seducing her, caressing her. She had the distinct impression she was at the hands of a master, though truthfully she'd never doubted it.

Damon's arm slid around her waist drawing her in, his hand cradling her jaw. Elena gave a soft moan; she was lost.

Damon sank his fangs into the carotid artery; warm vibrant liquid spilling into his mouth. He leaned his weight forward pushing Elena down on the desk top; she complied willingly, wrapping long legs around his waist almost on instinct and holding him against her as his body shuddered.

The sharp sting of Damon's fangs piercing her skin had quickly faded, so completely overcome by the closeness of him, she wasn't even sure when he stopped drinking from her; it felt oddly similar to that fuzzy relaxed time after sex.

He held her tightly in his arms, his breathing laboured. Elena was limp beneath him, relishing in the sated mood, lightheaded but absolutely fine better than fine. Damon nuzzled into her neck, his hot breath warming her skin before finally lifting his weight from her.

He ripped a hole in his wrist and brought it to her mouth, "Drink."

She did, sucking almost as greedily from him as he had from her.

Damon pulled her up from the desk "Thank you." He said rigidly. Elena was sure her face was crimson. That had got way out of hand, she would have said _anytime_ but it seemed a tad inappropriate "Uh, you're welcome."

They went back to studying the books feeling slightly awkward. Elena took some comfort in the fact that Damon had a little of his colour back.

...

Damon could hardly concentrate on the words before him.

From the tips of his fingers to his shoulder, pain throbbed in a near constant steady rhythm.

Not debilitating yet but sometimes it took his breath away.

Grateful she had equated his discomfort with only thirst, Damon still couldn't believe she'd offered. He knew he should have more forcefully refused but he was _so thirsty_ and she was so insistent.

Days gone by he wouldn't have hesitated but he'd been afraid his blood wouldn't heal her, he was afraid he'd lose it. One second of insanity and he'd have torn her throat out.

But instead, she'd wrapped herself around him, yielding under his weight. Damon glanced up and smiled.

Elena's head lolled over a large battered tome, her eye lids sinking heavily. He needed to keep reminding himself she belonged to Stefan, that he couldn't have her. She made it too easy to forget and he allowed himself to more often than he should.

Damon rose and prized the book from her loosening grip.

"Hmmm?" she murmured sleepily.

Bracing himself, Damon swept her up in his arms, hugging her against his chest. He held her lovingly a moment longer, she snuggled against him and murmured his name. If he was to die for anyone he would have wanted it to be her. In that at least, in this whole fucked up situation, he could be grateful.

A large well loved sofa in the next room would serve as a bed and he laid her down gently, propping a pillow under her head.

Damon didn't linger, they'd wasted enough time. There were a few texts that had been promising.

...

Elena woke with a start; Damon was leaning over her "I found something." He said.

Elena blinked away all remaining grogginess. "What, tell me?"

She sat up as he handed over a red leather bound book, slender bridged and unassumingly named origins.

"See the reference number?"

She flipped the book open, spotting hastily scribbled letters and numbers, she nodded.

"It's for an index, probably somewhere in the university library."

"Like a rare book section?" she frowned.

"Exactly." He nodded eagerly "This mentions an ash that can kill originals, _white oak_."

Elena licked her lips "You think the referenced book might tell us where to find it?"

He shrugged. "Only one way to find out!"

"Where's the main library?"

Damon smiled "Follow me."

The campus was slowly coming to life as they crossed to the main building, it was light out and students ambled about with palpable lethargy. Damon ignored everyone, he walked like he belonged here and Elena did her best to emulate him. The library was easy to find being that it was ridiculously huge and Damon wasted no time on menial labour, seeking out a nubile young librarian with startled blue eyes to compel.

"Find this reference." He pointed it out, keeping a firm grip on the book.

She nodded blankly, "I'll show you."

Damon flashed a smile "I love a compliant woman."

Elena rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the faint blush. They were lead up a flight of winding stairs to a coded door, the girl punched a few buttons and swung the door in, flicking switches to reveal a long gloomy room.

It was filled with pastel green coloured metal shelving, pressed tightly together to fit the sheer wealth of knowledge contained there in. Metal wheels were fixed on the sides to pull them apart.

The girl wandered along scanning the labels and wheeled open the shelving. "Here." She pointed.

Damon slid between and ran his finger over the book backs, levering one out. It actually had a locking mechanism, how novel; Damon snapped that off and flipped it open. The book was wordless with a small cut out compartment, a small glass vile with a whitish ash contained inside.

Damon lifted it out and gave the bottle a little shake.

Elena's eyes lit up "We've got it."


	7. Chapter 7

...

Damon hadn't felt altogether himself when he woke up this morning, briefly he hadn't even known where he was, it only lasted a few seconds but it was unsettling none the less.

In fact ever since they got back from Duke Damon had been feeling less than stellar. He craved blood more often and most of the time when he gave in to the hunger was sick as a dog.

His moods were also taking a bit of a hammering to say the least, highs were higher and lows were lower and right now he wasn't at all sure where he was at in that regard: Bouncing unsteadily between the two.

Though he had always maintained to himself and with his actions to others that he was willing to die for Elena, this just wasn't how he'd seen it happening. So long after the fact that the whole died-for-you pizzazz was just wrenched clean out of it.

He flexed his fingers painfully, a pair of fingerless black gloves now hiding the spreading mark. A single bloody puncture wound was the end of him, he guessed that's why he was lasting this long a bigger bite must have meant a faster decent into madness and death.

That thought cheered him right up, he got the chance to prolong the inevitable, all this time to reflect and truly think about his life choices.

"God!" he groaned.

Elena wondered in unwinding a dark blue scarf, a welcome distraction, his eyes roved over her body, very welcome. Just because he couldn't have her didn't mean he couldn't be an outrageous flirt!

"Is Stefan in?" predictable as ever.

Damon ignored her question. Stefan _was_ in but he didn't see the need to speed the approach of that particular inevitable.

"_My_, someone's looking _perky_ today!"

Elena's shoulders caved, typical of Damon to notice she'd got a new bra. It was a little more padded than she usually went for.

"You know the way you talk could be considered sexual harassment." She stated flatly.

Damon smiled. "That is true, but lets be honest, you're psyched I noticed."

Elena made a face and Stefan walked in "I thought I heard you!" he said grinning brightly.

Damon leaned in and whispered from the corner of his mouth "Let's see if he does!"

Stefan's gaze never left her face, not even a flicker.

Elena twitched but rallied quickly hugging Stefan "He loves me for my mind." She said smugly.

Stefan glanced between them "Huh?"

Damon rolled his eyes "That's nice." He patronized "But love of the body can be equally _satisfying_." His expression said more so.

"Must _everything_ you talk about devolve into innuendo?" she said wryly.

He gave her a patient look "Considering how the conversation started I'd say it was a given."

Stefan grimaced "Whatever it is can you just stop already!"

Elena smiled tightly "It's nothing."

Damon looked outraged "Elena!" he admonished "_Those_ are not nothing; don't put yourself down like that!"

She flushed crimson.

"Tell her Stefan!"

He blinked "Tell her what?"

Damon looked disappointed "You're really not seeing this…" he sighed "Lesson 5: The female form, an appreciation.

"What happened to Lesson 4?"

Damon put a hand to his head "That reminds me, Lesson 4: Sex in Strange Places, you and I have to talk young man!"

Elena's eyes flared wide remembering the conversation in the car.

"What's with the gloves?" Stefan motioned towards Damon's hands.

"It's fashion thing, you wouldn't understand."

"Let's just go!" Elena growled.

Stefan stopped her "Actually, there's something I need to tell you both."

Elena and Damon turned to stare at him in unison.

Stefan fidgeted a little "When you were at Duke, I thought I should help so I called Isobel."

"What!" Damon and Elena were completely in sync with outrage.

"Why?"

"I thought it might help." He maintained. "It's her research, she knows better than any of us."

Damon shook his head "uh, I don't need this right now."

Elena was going to blow a gasket "You did this because we stayed the night, _didn't you_?" she hissed.

"Elena." Stefan started but she shut him down.

"You just couldn't trust me to do this, it took _one night_ longer than we'd hoped and you _immediately_ take things out of my hands!"

Damon sat back, trying his best not to look amused. He really tried.

Stefan was getting flustered as Elena continued "I don't want that woman here!"

"She's not coming." He said suddenly.

Elena blinked "What? But you said…"

"John Gilbert is coming instead."

Damon couldn't contain it anymore and barked a laugh "_My god,_ it gets better!" sarcasm dripped.

Stefan glowered at him. Elena looked stunned. "Stefan." She groaned.

"When can we expect the little bundle of fun?" Damon smirked.

Stefan shrugged "I don't really know."

_..._

Damon lounged on the seat, keeping his mind wonderfully blank, it wasn't often he got the chance to just vegetate and he was revealing in it, of course it didn't last long.

Someone knocked the door.

He sighed and levered himself out of the chair to answer it.

"Oh John, what a pleasant surprise!"

"Hello Damon." John smiled greasily and Damon recoiled.

"I suppose it wouldn't matter if I told you to fuck off, so_ please_ come in." He spread his arms in welcome.

John walked past, "I'll make this brief, I don't want to be here as much as you don't want me."

"Oh I _doubt_ that." Damon stressed.

John curved his lips in a sickly attempt at a smile, Damon grimaced, he really hated this man. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to help; I hear you were in need of it." He said smugly.

"What is it you think you can help with John?"

"Elena."

"Suddenly feeling parental?" he smirked, Damon poured himself a drink.

John looked him over silently. "I have something that might come in handy."

Damon took a long swallow of Bourbon before answering "What exactly?"

John slid an object wrapped in clothe from his pocket and placed it on the table, folding back the fabric to reveal a knife.

"This," he said "is the only dagger that can kill an original."

Damon scooped it into his hand, feeling the weight.

He remembered enough from the countless books he'd studied recently to know that this paired with the ash in his possession was exactly what they needed, but Johns willingness to hand is over so freely and without asking for anything in return left a bad taste in Damon's mouth.

The cynic in him warned caution and Damon was inclined to take the advice.

He handled the dagger like a live snake, wrapping it back in the faded clothe.

"Why are you giving me this?" he locked eyes with the ghastly little man, hard to believe he was responsible for the birth of Elena. "Why not give it to Stefan?"

"I thought you'd be more inclined to use it." John said

Damon snorted, what's your angle you little fucker?

"Elena is important to me. I wouldn't wish harm on her."

"_Of course_," Damon said mordantly "Well now I have it, so I'll renew my earlier sentiment…Fuck off!"

"You could show a little gratitude Damon. I'm doing you a favour at no small personal risk."

Damon waved his hands ushering him out. "I'll be sure to tell Stefan, he'll be dying to show you his appreciation."

John scowled and left.

Damon was immediately on the phone. "Baby Brother, get our ass back here."

_"What's up?"_

"Everyone's _favourite _Uncle brought us a little present and I seem to remember a certain saying about Greeks and gifts."

There was a pause on the other end _"You think he's playing us?"_ Stefan said.

Damon clicked his neck "I think a lot of things…where are you?"

_"I'm…"_

"Actually," he interrupted "I don't care, just get back here."

Damon hung up.

...

Stefan sighed and put the phone back in his pocket.

Elena leaned over the table "What's happening?"

"John is here."

Elena slumped "We'd have been fine without him." She pouted.

Stefan puffed out his cheeks, ignoring her annoyance "He gave something to Damon, so Damon wants me home."

Elena nodded, curiosity peeked "What do you think it is?"

Stefan shrugged "…didn't say."

She sat back, tapping her mouth with an extended finger. _Uncle_ John would probably be making his way to her house. Jenna was not going to be pleased.

Elena scrubbed her hands back through her hair, once again annoyed at Stefan. Whatever this thing was he'd given Damon, it better be of some use cause if not….Elena levelled a scowl at Stefan; this whole visit was going to be a completely unnecessary problem.

"It'll be okay Elena." Stefan took her hand "John… I'm sure he wants what's best for you."

Elena frowned, she wasn't so sure.

"I can't handle this right now Stefan, I really didn't need this." She extracted her hand from his "With everything that's been happening, the last thing I need to worry about is John pushing his weight around at home."

Stefan closed his eyes "I said I was sorry, but I really think he can help."

Elena nodded reluctantly "I know you do."

Stefan stood and Elena followed suit.

"You going to?" he said softly.

"I want to be home before John gets there, I'll see you later?"

He nodded and placed a light kiss on her cheek. "Bye."

...

Elena was dreading reaching home. She needed someone to talk to and oddly enough Damon popped into her head as candidate number one.

Now _that_ was unexpected.

He'd probably make fun of her for being nervous, make light of the situation, dismiss her problems, say her father/uncle was an ass, more so than he himself and hang up.

Elena realised at this point, it was exactly what she needed to hear. She didn't feel like getting an earnest pat on the back and pointless sympathies.

Elena parked up and stared at her home, she fingered her mobile, dialled and took a breath, the minute his voice was on the other end Elena let go.

"I'm staring at my front door, _his_ car is parked outside the house, I know he's in there and I _don't_ want to see him!" her voice was ragged.

Damon rolled with it _"So don't. Johnny already did what he came to do. You can hold up at the boarding house until he leaves."_

That was tempting, but Jenna would need some support.

"I can't do that."

"_I don't see why not."_

"You wouldn't." she muttered, she could almost feel him rolling his eyes.

"_Fine, I'll try and think like you shall I… What would Elena do? … Get all uptight have a tiff with dear old dad and storm over here anyway. Sound about right?"_

Elena made a face.

"_I say we skip the angst and go straight to safe haven."_

It was getting more tempting the more he said it, time for a subject change.

"What did he give you?"

"…_a dagger."_

"Really?"

"_Hmmm, and not just any dagger it's an original killing dagger. You dip it in the ash; it's like a combo attack."_

"You think it'll work?"

"_Why did you call me?"_

Elena blinked, "uh, I just…"

"_Wanted to hear my voice?"_ He interrupted sounding thoroughly smug.

"You think far too much of yourself, do you know that?"

"_I have good reason." _

"Uh, I don't even know why I called!"

"_That makes two of us."_ He quipped.

She growled. "I'm going in now."

"_You go girl, be sure to tell Uncle John I said Hi."_

Elena hung up, flustered but feeling surprisingly better.

She gave the house a once over, time to face the music.

On entering she saw Jenna and John facing off like two strange cats, Jenna with hackles raised at the intrusion.

"Elena," she sounded relieved "You're back."

"Hello Elena." John gave her a patronizing smile.

Elena grimaced, her eyes catching the glint of metal on his finger. Wasn't his ring taken?

"What do you want John?"

"Can't I visit my daughter?"

Jenna choked, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." John stared down his nose "_I _am Elena's biological father."

Elena wanted to palm her forehead; she should have taken Damon's advice. Jenna looked to her for confirmation, startled eyes searching her face.

Elena nodded "It's true."

Jenna rallied pretty quickly considering, she drew herself up and levelled a death glare on John "Do you know what makes a good house guest? Knowing when they're going to leave and I happen to know exactly when _you_ are leaving."

She brushed past and swung open the door. "Take care now."

John stood a few seconds longer, lingering a meaningful look on Elena.

"No, I think I'll be staying. I should make sure you've been looking after my daughter.

Jenna bristled.

"Elena?" Jenna said. "I'd like to talk with your _uncle_ alone."

She glanced at Jenna. "I'll be in my room."

_..._

They'd been down there a while and Elena could hear them still arguing from upstairs. She sat with her journal over her knee, trying to think of something to write. As yet she had not documented her trip to Duke with Damon for obvious reasons.

She could vividly remember him lying against her, sharp teeth latched into her throat, her thighs gripping his hips. What the hell was wrong with her? In what universe did she ever think that was appropriate behaviour with her _boyfriend's_ brother!

"What are you doing?"

Elena yelped in surprise as Damon appeared beside her from nowhere.

"You're such a stalker!" she gasped angrily jumping to her feet.

Damon smirked "I thought you liked that in a man. Isn't that what your _boyfriend_ did?" he leaned close to her ear "_for_ _months_… then of course he went ahead and enrolled in your school and wheedled his wicked way into your affections, _as you do_…"

Elena glared at him.

"Was it the forehead brooding?" he cast a hand across his brow "You got a thing for pensive men?"

Damon circled her slowly, a predatory light in his eyes.

Elena cleared her throat roughly, "Actually he was very sweet."

Damon rolled his eyes "Oh undoubtedly."

"I have to know her!" he mimicked moodily; Elena blushed.

"Shut up Damon."

"Do you know he wrote that in his diary?"

"You read his Journal?" She blinked

"You're not _actually_ surprised are you? … cause this isn't exactly out of character."

She went quiet, true enough.

"Oh come on, you're dying to ask, _what else did he write about me Damon?_"

"I don't sound like that and I'm not interested."

"Liar." He smirked.

"I am not! What he wants to write about is his own business, just like in my Journal."

Damon rolled his eyes "Uh, it's a wonder you can breathe so loftily perched on the moral high ground."

She punched his arm "That's not funny!"

Damon sucked in a sharp breath; it had to be the left arm. He swallowed a string of oaths and for lack of a better word put his better side forward.

"Maybe I should start a journal." He teased, trying to take his mind off the pain.

Elena grunted, eyeing him sideways. "Yeah, you need to document your conquests like I need a hole in the head."

He smiled, "Straight to the gutter as always Elena, you've a _filthy_ mind. I do so much more than just giving women the single most _momentous_ night of their lives!"

"Liar."

Damon grinned "So we're both liars."

Her smile slipped and a look passed over her face that he didn't understand.

"Something I said?" he questioned.

Elena shook her head. She was having a rather graphic flash back presently and she could see Damon watching her with renewed interest.

"Elena?" he had that amused serious face on, his eyes, now brighter, running ragged over her body.

"Why are you here?" she half whisper unable to catch her breath.

"You sounded like you needed someone to take your mind off our surprise guest." He murmured.

She allowed her eyes linger over his. "How were you planning on doing that?"

Elena tilted up her chin a strange anticipation warming through her chest, Damon's expression grew serious.

She stared at his mouth and Damon watched black pupils blossoming wide like the ripened berries of the belladonna. He licked his lips.

Elena's heart fluttered like a little bird within her, she wasn't really going to do this was she?

Her small hands pressed against his chest and slid up to that perfect face, he was so beautiful.

Damon closed his eyes, as her fingers brushed across his jaw perilously close to his mouth, letting out a shuddering breath, Elena was mesmerized by the effect her touch had on him.

She pressed herself against his body.

His heart clenched painfully and he wanted more than anything to take her in his arms and show her everything she could have had…

Damon leaned in and gently pressed his lips to her forehead.

Elena's hands fell limp to her sides, hot shallow breath trapped in her throat as his mouth dragged down across her cheek, kissing tender and heated tantalizingly close to panting parted lips, glistening wet with anguished anticipation.

He held her face in his broad hands so gently, thumbs stroking over her jaw. His mouth hovering over hers a whispers breath between skin… he couldn't.

"I should go." He said softly.

Elena nodded mutely, her eyes still closed, the way he kissed her seemed to strike a cord and set off a chain reaction of conflicting emotions.

Her stomach somersaulted.

"Damon?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you…were you here a few days ago?" she whispered.

He stepped away regarding her guardedly. "No."

Her eyes bore levelly into his, as if she could see into him and for that brief moment Damon was sure she could, a deep rooted fear built and he knew he must have looked terrified. She couldn't remember, his compulsion was sound...If Elena knew…

The front door slammed with unnecessary force, they were jerked back to the present. Elena gave herself a shake and checked out the window.

Jenna stalked across the garden and got into her car, she was leaving, an understandable reaction when it came to Uncle John.

"I think Jenna needed some air." She said faintly.

Damon grunted. "I think I'll check on him."

"Damon…" she warned.

He raised a hand "What? I just want to see if he's okay!"

Elena quirked her delicate brows at him and he grinned like a cat.

"Oh come on." He slinked toward her bedroom door "Don't you want to see his expression when _I_ walk out of _your_ bedroom?"

Her lips twitched but she was determined to be sensible Elena at this moment.

Damon rolled his eyes when she didn't respond.

"You spend too much time with Stefan." He muttered swinging her door open regardless and waltzing down the stairs.

"John?" he exclaimed "What a _pleasant_ surprise, I had _no idea_ you were here!"

John gave him a suitably dull expression.

"Damon." He said flatly. "Why are you here?" he looked to Elena pointedly as she followed Damon down.

"Damon is my friend Uncle John; he's here because I want him to be." She said simply.

Damon studied her quietly and reined in the host of put downs he'd had planned for Johnny.

"You've heard about the knife?" John asked.

"Yes. We have everything we need but I fail to see why you still need to be here."

"As I said to Jenna, is there something wrong with wanting to spend time with you?"

Damon grunted "Didn't anyone tell you timing's everything?"

Elena couldn't help but agree "It seems a little convenient for you to show a sudden interest in me now, when for years I was nothing to you."

"You called me." John reminded her.

"No," she bit "_Stefan_ called you and he had no business to."

John grimaced "That's a little ungrateful, I brought the knife."

"Yes," she conceded "You did and for that I am grateful."

"It's your company we find _loathsome_." Damon chipped in.

"No one said that." John smiled tightly.

"I'm reading between the lines." He winked at Elena.

"I need a coffee." She announced tiredly "Once you're both done with the male posturing I'll come back in."

Elena headed for the kitchen.

"I was curious..." Damon said.

John leant against the sofa "Is that so? I don't have to sate your curiosity Damon."

Damon frowned; John flicked his fingers, flashing the ring. Now _that _belonged to Alaric: So bad old Uncle John had been trying to re-appropriate property!

"You think _that_ will protect you from _me_?" he said surprised.

"You need to leave." John said with feeling.

"You know being a dick only works if you're hot." Damon was mockingly earnest "I'm sorry it's just you've such a mommas boy face, I'm finding it hard to be intimidated, lets start over."

Damon cleared his throat. "Right, if you repeat that last line I promise I'll act scared."

John sneered, Damon grinned.

"If my daughter wasn't here, I'd kill you."

Damon chuckled mirthlessly, ignoring the impotent death threat "I think you waved the right to call her that a long time ago."

"Who are you to question my rights?"

"I was questioning your validity as a parent, actually."

"Elena's _brave_ protector now Damon? You're _Pathetic_."

A filmy red mist descended over Damon's eyes, he'd been finding it increasingly difficult to hold his temper of late and trust John to hit a nerve.

His hand snapped up, latched onto Johns pencil neck and squeezed.

"Pathetic, no" he hissed "_Hungry_, yes."

John scratched at his hands "I've drank vervaine." He choked "Go ahead take a bite."

Damon grinned manically, eyes flaring "On second thought,"

Damon drove the palm of his hand into John's nose, driving shards of bone up into his brain. "I'm not that hungry."

Uncle John dropped like a sack of spuds, dead.

"Damon!" Elena screeched rushing to John's side. "For god's sake, can't you control yourself?"

"At least I checked John was wearing the ring." He said, despising himself as he spoke.

Elena launched forward and threw her weight behind a solid back hand, snapping his head sharply to the side.

It didn't hurt when she hit him, a flash of heat across his face, gone in an instant, it didn't hurt when she hit him, not physically anyway.

"He'll be fine…in a few hours." He said, working his jaw.

Elena glared at him "That is not the point, this man is my _father_!"

"A technicality." He muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"That fool is just a sperm donor, you consider him a father as much as I consider him my equal."

Elena blinked.

"Which is not at all." He clarified.

"Help me with the body." She ordered tersely, unwilling to argue further.

Damon lifted the limp corpse and dumped it on the sofa.

Elena shook her head, checking his ring was still in place.

She was quiet for a long time, staring at that ring.

"…Why did you do it?" she sounded suddenly sad.

Damon frowned "He was getting up in my face; I thought I'd _remind_ him of his place in the pecking order."

Elena shook her head "I meant Jeremy." She whispered.

Damon turned to stone. He closed his eyes, what did he have to lose?

"It hurt." He said slowly "So I wanted to make you hurt. Jeremy picked the wrong moment to walk in." he was being brutal but she'd asked.

"That simple…?" She breathed.

"It's how I _deal_…" he said tersely.

He watched her unwavering coffee coloured eyes; they bored into him shining with unshed tears.

"An eye for an eye." Her voice was strained "I break your heart so you break mine?"

Damon tilted his head "It's all I know." He said simply.

_Break his heart_? Katherine had torn it out of his chest and then Elena had trod on it for good measure…and then he'd done what amounted to the same with Elena. He didn't want to relive the moment and apparently neither did she.

"I know John isn't someone we can trust and you're _right_ I don't consider him my father." She stepped forward "But you need to value human life Damon, regardless of who it is."

Damon wanted to protest, sighting the ring as a perfectly good excuse, but she anticipated him.

"I know the ring brings him back but even so. That doesn't work for everyone."

Damon stared at her for a moment before slowly nodding, the barest lowering of his head.

She accepted it.

Elena walked away only to stop short of the stairs.

"Did you kiss me to me hurt too?"

Damon froze; she turned her beautiful eyes on him.

"I kissed you because I wanted to." He said coolly "and as I recall you were the one causing the pain."

She studied him for a long time. "I guess you and I are destined to break each others hearts."

Damon's mouth tightened.

Elena hesitated "Do you think that's all there will ever be for us?"

"Yes," he murmured "I think that's all."

It wasn't the answer she'd wanted, but it was the only one he could give.

Elena ascended the stairs without another word.

Damon sighed, wearied deeply. He wondered if it would have been better for everyone concerned if he'd just left, no one had to know he was dying. He could just disappear never to be heard from again…he grimaced and gathered up John's corpse, better get rid of that before Jenna came home. It could prove difficult to explain why his dead body was on her couch, even more so when he inexplicably reanimated.

Damon knew he shouldn't have come but when Elena called _him_ for comfort, he was tickled pink!

He just couldn't help himself and then she was looking up at him with those big beautiful shining doe eyes, practically begging him to kiss her.

Why now?

Why when he couldn't respond?

Most of the time there was no point wishing and what if-ing over things, it didn't get him anything but depressed.

But right now with Elena on the verge of a fucking emotional breakthrough, Damon could have really used the mileage and once again he wished.

_..._

Damon brought John's body back to the boarding house, it had been a long time since he'd had to smuggle a corspe in the boot of his car. He was actually feeling a bit nostalgic.

John's eyes opened and Damon bent over him, smiling menacingly "Feeling better?"

"You killed me?" he accused, shrinking back into the pillows.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch." He rolled his eyes, alighting on the ring. He reached down and swiftly extracted it from John's finger.

"Wait!" John scrambled for his hand but was given a playful, if firm, shove for his trouble.

Damon studied it carefully, "I think I'll hang onto this." He said never taking his eyes off the metal band.

"Give that back Damon," John struggled up from the sofa and stood "I doubt you can pay the price I will extract for it."

"Oh, I'm not so sure," Damon smirked being purposefully obtuse "I am _very_ rich."

John bristled with impotent rage, without that ring he could do very little, especially since Damon seemed more inclined to kill him of late, well since they'd first meet actually.

Without his insurance he was feeling a little vulnerable.

Damon could smell it and flashed a little fang for effect "You look a little pale Uncle John, is everything alright?"

John snatched for the ring and Damon skipped back lifting his hand high above his head, absolutely thrilled at the direction this was taking "Jump for it!" he sniggered.

John went rigid with indignation sucking a breath through flared nostrils "You will die for this Damon."

Damon rolled his eyes "Don't be childish." He admonished

John whirled and stalked out of the boarding house.

"Such a sore loser…" Damon muttered.

His hand cramped around the ring, the muscles of his arm locking in place, shaking violently. Damon sucked in a ragged breath and fell onto the couch, struck again and again with repeating waves of nausea.

Thank god John had left he managed to think through the pain.

It didn't last too long although it was longer than usual.

Damon sat back, snuggling into the pillows, grateful for ease.

He rolled the ring between the fingers of his good hand, studying the other. He'd gotten used to the painful near constant burning sensation and most of the time he could ride out the worst of it, slip his left arm behind his back when the tremors started.

Now he could feel the pain reaching further, up into his head, making him want to vomit: the end was nigh.

Damon stood and popped the ring into his pocket, deciding to do what he always did when things got bleak, go drinking!

...

The grill was fairly busy and Damon spotted Alaric sitting at the bar brooding over a whisky: he'd beaten him to it apparently.

Damon smiled and patted his pocket, perfect timing.

"Alaric, you look miserable." He announced bouncing onto the stool beside him.

Alaric glanced across "I do?" he scrubbed his hand over his face and took a drink. "Maybe I do." He sighed.

"Jenna not treating you right, _buddy_?" Damon pouted.

Alaric grimaced "Not exactly, but then I guess she has a right…"

He rolled his eyes "Its okay," he soothed "you still have me, speaking of which…" Damon pulled the ring from his pocket.

"Alaric Saltzman," he announced "Will you marry me?"

Alaric's eyes popped comically out of their sockets and a few heads turned at the bar to goggle.

"Wha…?" he sputtered, the utter seriousness of Damon's tone taking him completely off guard.

Damon grinned "I'll take that as a yes." He lifted Ricks limp hand and slid the ring on with a teasing little twist, affording a wink for Ricks benefit.

"You don't know how happy you've made me!" Damon gulped mockingly.

Alaric stared at his hand "How'd you get this?" he gasped, suddenly with the programme.

"I can be very _persuasive_." Damon whispered leaning in suggestively and stealing Ricks drink.

"You stole it." Rick grunted.

"I _liberated_ it, so don't be waving that thing around until he's gone."

Rick didn't know what to say "Thank you." He murmured.

Damon flashed his brows "Are you blushing?" he teased

"Oh, for fuck sake Damon!" He blurted and snatched his drink back, only a little annoyed.

"You're welcome." Damon smirked.


	8. Chapter 8

...

Damon came too with his fangs latched into the throat of a pretty blond girl, struggling in his embrace. Horrified he immediately leapt back and she dropped to the cold wet asphalt, not dead, thank god!

He felt a wave of regret which was immediately outweighed by irritation, this was who he was for fuck sake why did he have to feel guilty…This whole becoming deranged from were-wolf poisoning would go a lot smoother for him if he didn't feel so bloody awful about killing people now.

A wave of nausea struck and he had to take a moment to steady himself, her blood wasn't agreeing with him.

Get a grip; he suppressed the urge to hurl.

Damon sank down to his knees and gave the girl a shake, she woke hazily.

"You won't remember me, this didn't happen. Yada Yada…"

She made all the necessary noises and he nodded satisfied.

He rose unsteadily and wandered in the direction of the boarding house, or at least where he thought it was…

Damon was a wreck when he got home, shaking and sweating and wanting to heave every five seconds. It was time to lock him up: on the journey back he'd lost his way _twice_, standing staring about, having absolutely no idea where he was, _who_ he was!

He didn't want that to happen while in the presence of Elena, he might mistake her for Katherine and everything could go very bad indeed.

Searing pain shot up his arm into his neck and he collapsed; gasping for breath, dry retching on all fours.

Stefan appeared curious about the uproar and stared wide eyed at his brother, "Damon what happened!" he raced to his side hauling him to his feet. Damon hung on him, momentarily blinded by dizziness.

"I need to sit down." he croaked.

Stefan sped him to the chair and ran off returning with a handful of blood bags.

Damon ripped them from his hands and sucked them all dry.

Stefan was aghast, "Damon, tell me what happened, who did this to you?"

Someone needed to be his jail guard...

He slumped back peeled off his gloves and lifted his left hand for Stefan to inspect. The once small puncture was now a long red gash across his palm exposing the sinew in his hands, thick purple and black veins snaking up his arm as far as his throat, his skin burned to the touch.

"Damon, what am I seeing?" Stefan didn't want to hear the answer, he feared he already knew.

"Stefan my brother, you are looking at the final stages of a were-wolf bite." Damon managed to sound amused as he gritted his teeth against the pain.

"…Where am I?" he said suddenly eyes wide.

Stefan felt his stomach drop "You're at the boarding house."

Damon squinted at him "Stef?" he shook his head violently "Sorry," he panted "I'm not myself at the minute."

Tears filled his eyes as he watched his brother struggle with his sanity. "Damon?" his throat constricted.

Damon grimaced "Stop crying, I still have more lucid moments than not." He took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Stefan knelt beside the chair, looking up at his big brother.

Damon sighed "I was considering leaving; let you think I'd run off never to be heard from again: Better missing than dead right?"

Stefan shook his head.

"Maybe not." He conceded tiredly.

"We'll find a cure; I'll get everyone on it!"

Damon hissed "Don't be stupid. I've looked, there is none." He leaned forward gripping Stefan's T-shirt "and if you tell anyone, especially Elena, about me dying, I'll find it in me to take you along. I've still enough strength for that."

He looked confused again, "Father?"

Stefan stood slowly, taking one shuddering breath after the other.

"It's okay Damon." He whispered.

"I'm thirsty."

Stefan glanced at the empty blood bags.

...

"You're burning."

Damon batted away Stefan's hand "I'm fine mom."

Stefan stood back with a heavy sigh studying his brother. "Are you in Pain?"

Damon crinkled his nose and wobbled a tumbler of bourbon at him.

"Self medicating, I'm good." He cocked his head, listening. "Elena's here."

Stefan went to the door to peek his head out and glanced back at Damon.

"We had a date tonight." He sounded almost guilty.

"You _have_ a date tonight." Damon corrected. Stefan hesitated.

Damon made a face, motioning with his hands "Go."

"Damon, I know how you feel about Ele…"

"Shut up Stefan."

"I just wanted you to know that if you want…"

"Stefan?" Elena pushed the door open.

Damon stood and hid his hand behind his back, sharing a look with Stefan.

She glanced between them, her dark eyes hovering a moment longer on Damon.

"Is everything okay?"

Stefan smiled and reached out to her, squeezing her hand.

"Everything's fine."

Elena looked sceptical but nodded "Are you ready to go?"

Stefan grimaced "Uh, well…"

"He's _more_ than ready…" Damon tipped his glass at them "well, what I mean is, _I'm_ more than ready." He grinned, flashing his brows "Having Captain Sensible around all day long _mooning_ over you is enough to make even me wish for death."

He winked at Stefan and took a gulp of Bourbon.

Stefan levelled a hard look on him to which Damon merely shrugged.

"Elena, could you wait for me downstairs?"

"Uh, sure." She slid her hand out of his and gripped his arm "_Is_ everything alright?"

"I'll be with you in a minute."

He smiled reassuringly and turned to Damon, who immediately rolled his eyes.

Elena left.

"If this is a continuation of our earlier conversation I don't want to hear it."

"Look Damon, I just wanted..."

"What?" Damon interrupted "You just wanted to what? Patronize me?"

"You don't have a lot of time left."

He laughed "I _know_ that." Moving to the mini bar he poured himself another glass of bourbon, watching the tremor in his hand slosh the liquid. He slammed the glass down.

"There's no escaping it." He swallowed his self pity, angry at letting it show. "Go enjoy your _date_ Stefan."

"Damon…"

"I can see what you're trying to do for me and really, I'm all choked up."

He put a hand to his heart to curb the phantom pain "But I don't want you to hand Elena over for my last few days. It's sweet, but this isn't a game of pass the parcel."

"I just thought…"  
"No you didn't."

"Damon, let me finish!" Stefan shouted.

He sighed.

"There's a lot that's happened between us that I regret, things I _can't_ change. But with Elena…the least I can do is let you tell her how you feel and…" god this was hard, Stefan swallowed the lump in his throat. "…and let her admit a few things that she wouldn't otherwise, because of me."

Damon stared at him in abject disbelief. "_My god_, you are an idiot!"

"Excuse me?"

Damon felt rage rise "I don't want Elena to feel guilted into admitting anything!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, it's not? You want to be careful what you offer me little brother."

Damon gave Stefan a half smile a dark light in his eyes. "I might be tempted to take my pound of flesh to the grave, maybe heart shaped."

"I trust Elena."

"I think you're underestimating my charm."

Stefan scowled at him "I'm trying to do you a favour Damon."

"No, you're just trying to make yourself feel better, but that's okay. Now go."

"But you're…."

Damon rolled his eyes, he'd managed well enough up to this point and a few hours without Stefan weren't going to kill him…well… he hadn't exactly worked out the time limit yet.

"I'm sure I'll…" he was going to say survive but under the circumstances…"Just go." He finished flatly."

"But?"

Damon held up his hand silencing Stefan.

"Lesson 6: The lost Art of Dating." He announced.

Stefan shook his head, laughing softly. "Are you actually ever going to teach me any off these lessons?"

"I've still got to work out the syllabus." He paused "In this case a quick outline might be beneficial; we don't want Elena to die of boredom before the night ends."

Stefan swallowed his irritation as Damon continued.

"_Don't_ go to the grill. There's a new place, Gino's… go there and at the end of the night kiss her like you were me, _if you can_."

He patted Stefan's shoulder "Try your best anyway."

"I kiss just fine." Stefan muttered.

"Who says?"

"Elena."

"Yes and I'm sure she says size doesn't matter too." Damon scoffed. Stefan scowled.

Damon guided Stefan out the door, "Bye now." He slammed it shut behind him.

...

Stefan just stood there shocked.

He hardly knew what happened.

He loved Elena more than anything but he had been willing, although begrudgingly, to let them sort out whatever it was between them.

Stefan wasn't a fool, he knew his brother was attracted to Elena, maybe even in love with and he knew the attraction at least was mutual, even if it pained him to admit it.

The last thing he could do for Damon was allowing him to tell her.

Stefan gave himself a shake.

Elena was waiting for him.

He watched her leaning against the wall sweeping elegant fingers through those earthen coloured locks and smiled at ease again.

"Sorted?" she said.

Stefan nodded and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Sorted."

She seemed to want to ask more but resisted.

"So, where are we going, the grill?" she said it in such an expectant voice that Stefan was taken aback, when did he get so predictable?

He suddenly felt obliged to do as Damon recommended, at least where the venue was concerned.

"Actually no, I was thinking…" he hesitated knowing Damon could hear him. "There's this new place in town, Gino's or something like that, I thought we could go there."

The sudden enthusiasm that lit Elena's face would have been annoying, if she wasn't so beautiful, he could imagine Damon's I-told-you-so look.

"Oh, I've heard about this place. I've been dying to go!"

Stefan led her out to the car and they drove in comfortable silence.

Gino's was a small old fashioned Italian restaurant.

An old woman, who gave off the inscrutable air of Matriarch, welcomed them at the door from her seat in good natured thickly accented broken English.

A dapper looking waiter was ushered forth in crisp white and black and guided the couple to their seat at a round white clothe covered table by the far wall, away from the bustle of the kitchen.

His mobile rang as he left them to peruse the menu and I shit you not, his ring tone was the theme for the Godfather. Elena nearly choked.

"This place is really nice." She said smiling.

Stefan nodded "Yeah."

"Is everything okay?"

"Fine, I was just thinking about ...the...dagger."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry." He stretched a smile "No talking about problems on dates, right?"

Elena shrugged "Its okay." She could forgive him when he looked this worried and admittedly she'd wanted to use this opportunity to talk a few things out too, but right now didn't seem like the right time.

"No, it's okay. I'll stop."

He tried his best not to talk about impending doom or any current problems, or indeed any possible future problems. He was in fact trying his level best to be upbeat. But Stefan wasn't up for this date, escaping the frightening reality of what was happening to his brother had been good motivation but he was weighed down by guilt for leaving him alone.

Elena seemed as preoccupied as he was, perhaps what had happened back at the house was playing on her mind, he hoped not. Stefan didn't want to get into that with her.

Damon had been crystal clear about his feelings on Elena finding out.

Stefan was finding it difficult to maintain the levity, keeping up appearances was pointless.

...

Though she was enjoying the cheerful atmosphere Elena knew something was wrong. Stefan looked preoccupied, almost too determined to be upbeat and he wasn't the only one.

Elena _needed_ to tell him about what had passed between Damon and her.

When he had kissed her and when she had kissed him.

Elena supposed that was the kicker, she had kissed Damon back and had sought to again only the night before.

She had become that which she had so desperately tried to avoid without even trying.

Katherine.

The night passed quickly and before Elena knew it Stefan was leading her to her door. Conversation had petered out somewhere in the middle of dinner but the silence wasn't altogether uncomfortable, it felt a little odd really, Stefan was a little more animated than usual. She wasn't entirely sure how to take it.

"I had a good night." Stefan said.

"Me too." She said truthfully enough.

Stefan smiled at her and leaned in, Elena tilted her head up ready for him.

Stefan's mouth found hers in a heated kiss, his hands sliding around her back and pulling her forward. His lips smeared over her mouth, sweet and familiar but Elena felt herself freezing up. Confusion rising, she pulled away, it just didn't feel right to respond, her heart beat steady and undisturbed.

"Stefan?"

"Uh, yeah…?" he sighed.

"…are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He smiled tightly.

"You seemed a little tense tonight."

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

Elena nodded, feeling a little shaken and trying her best to stay grounded.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow or whenever?"

"Hmm." Stefan grunted.

She entered the house, floating up the stairs to her room. Not bothering to acknowledge Jenna when she called out.

Elena sat on the edge of her bed crumpling the sheets in tightened fists.

It's not that he did anything wrong, he was always so good to her, so kind but for some reason she could no longer convince herself that she_ loved_ Stefan.

"…_not like I used to."_ Damon didn't know how right he was when he'd said those words, how perfectly they fitted her now.

Stefan had been that little ray of light in her life when she needed it most, tumbling her into this world so beyond anything she could ever have imagined. He was her solace and comfort, her love, the passion she so craved that had been lacking.

…and then there was Damon and if she'd thought she'd experienced passion before then she couldn't have been more wrong.

He had swept in like the oceans relentless tide, all charm and vitriol. Making her hate him and want him in turns. If Stefan was a ray of light then Damon was the sun, burning bright and hot. The brighter he burned the farther away he kept you, punishing those who came too close. Underneath that liquid fire surface was a want to love and be loved, devotion and loyalty to rival his young brother.

Elena still loved Stefan but it had dulled, bleached in the face of the Sun. Elena cared for Stefan more than she loved him now.

Hysterical laughter burst forth, everything she felt had flipped.

She wasn't at all sure what she was preparing herself for was the right thing, but she knew Stefan deserved someone who loved him more than she did now and Damon…Elena smiled…Damon deserved to be loved.

Elena pushed away thoughts of Katherine, inevitable comparison threatening to steal her resolve. She would not play with them; she needed to tell Stefan, to talk with him, to explain.

Elena's hand stole to her chest, her heart fluttered uncertainly…she was in Love with Damon Salvatore.

...

Damon's eyes opened with a gasp "Let me die." Whispered from his lips in a voice Stefan had not heard since they were human.

"Damon?"

"Don't make me turn…_please_…" pleading and soft, his voice was without the jaded edge. Stefan knew immediately the moment he was reliving and felt the heavy yolk of guilt weigh on his shoulders.

Damon's eyes glazed, long rivulets of sweat gleaming on his marble skin.

His face twisting between physical and emotional pain "I want it over…" he panted "No…I can't, Stefan don't make me…"

He sobbed and gasped "Katherine." His hands clenched in the bed sheets leaving bloody streaks from the open wound.

Stefan let his tears fall, "I'm so sorry Damon." He murmured.

Damon slept fitfully, muttering and playing over old memories. Stefan was glad these difficult times were far between at present but feared the inevitable descent.

He waited for Damon's breathing to flow easy and left the room, finding his way to his brother's whiskey and mulled over a glass or two, this being one of the rare occasions he wanted to drink. Stefan anticipated this might become more frequent as time went on; he wiped away the unbidden tears.

Stefan needed help, he couldn't do this alone. Watching his brother die was too much.

He couldn't tell Elena, he knew that, she would be inconsolable he needed someone who could really help him. Damon could get difficult to control, swinging in and out of intense periods of dementia, he fought it the majority of the time but even a small lapse was enough to cause harm.

Stefan was seriously thinking about increasing his intake of human blood to compensate for the difference in strength and though there was no one that came close to the Salvatore brothers in strength living in Mystic falls, apart from Caroline who would likely be useless in this situation, there was some one who made up for it in ingenuity.

Alaric.

Stefan made the decision; Damon would just have to deal with it.

He grabbed his phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Alaric, I need you to come over to the boarding house, now."

"…_okay."_

"Bring some weapons." He didn't want to hurt Damon but something to subdue him would make a huge difference.

"_Can I ask what's going on?"_

"I'll tell you when you're here."

Stefan hung up.

He didn't have to wait long, Alaric was pretty on the ball about this stuff and he didn't mess about when it came to a potential threat.

He waddled in the door weighed down with Vamp killing paraphernalia.

"Okay, so why am I here?" He dropped the stuff in the hall, levelling a patient look on Stefan.

"Damon is…" He needed to take a breath to steady himself, "Damon was bitten by a were-wolf."

Alaric rubbed a hand roughly over his face.

"…He's dying."

"Shit." He breathed, not able to believe what he was hearing.

"I need your help to keep him here in the boarding house. If he escapes…" his voice faded out.

Alaric put his hand on Stefan's shoulder "I'm sorry." He said with genuine feeling.

Stefan smiled sadly "He has episodes when he doesn't know who I am. He can get violent; you need to be aware of that at all times."

Alaric nodded.

It was a blessed relief to have someone who knew, Stefan was having a difficult time watching this happen alone. Watching Damon struggle and not knowing how to help him, he knew Damon got angry when he hovered but couldn't help it. At least with Alaric here both of them could get a break from each other.

"Follow me."

Stefan led Alaric up to Damon's room.

"Apparently a mans dying wish counts for nought in this house." Damon muttered, struggling into the sitting position.

"Welcome, please join me."

Alaric was stunned, Damon, always so robust and full of swagger was sickly and emaciated, the muscles of his torso sitting out starkly under pallid skin.

His gaze was rock steady as ever though and he looked less than pleased to see him.

"Alaric." He smirked; his charming personality was rock steady too it appeared. "It's _so nice_ to see you!"

Stefan's phone rang out and he left the room, mumbling his apologies.

"So," Alaric said "We're finally getting rid of you?"

Damon chuckled "Apparently. Are you pleased?"

Alaric approached the bed "Actually no. I'm not."

Damon pursed his lips, a small genuine smile finally settling there.

Neither man would admit their burgeoning friendship was important to them, that they respected the others opinion, granted not always, but they had an understanding.

Damon winced and shifted his arm, unintentionally allowing Alaric to see the wound carved over his palm, angry and red and spreading.

Damon caught him staring and smiled. "Stings like a son of a bitch." He said

"How?" Alaric was feeling curious.

Damon was feeling indulgent "The night we went after the pack." He shrugged "I was stupid."

"Stupid as in..?"

"Stupid as in… putting my hand in a were-wolves mouth."

"He saved Elena."

They both turned to Stefan who was standing in the door. "Damon pulled a wolf off her; he prized its jaws open with his bare hands."

Damon flashed his brows "Well," he said cockily "One does what one can!"

Alaric should have known, after seeing him take a stake for her, a wolf bite would be no different.

"Wow." was all he could think to say.

"Who called?"

Stefan grimaced "Elena." He hated lying to her.

Alaric glanced between them "Does she know?"  
"No." came Damon's sharp reply "and it's staying that way." He glared Stefan down.

"She doesn't know, it would only hurt her." He shrugged deferring to Damon.

Alaric was aghast "How are you going to explain when Damon…disappears?"

Damon smiled "Not my problem." He said glibly.

Stefan looked hurt. "I don't really know."

"You're going to have to tell her at some point!"

Sure, she was Stefan's girlfriend but you had to be blind not to see how she looked at Damon, Elena would be devastated, especially since Damon's current predicament was as a direct result of saving her life…ah…suddenly he could see why Damon was so determined not to let her become involved.

Alaric shook his head; Elena was going to be _really_ devastated.

Damon, as ever, never missed a thing and noticed the change in Alaric's expression; he smiled smugly "You know I'm right."

"She'll find out eventually." He murmured "She'll hate you for keeping this from her." He looked at both of them.

Stefan bit his lip and Damon laughed humourlessly "She's hated me before; it'll make it easier for her in the end."

Damon's breath hitched, his fists bunching in the bed sheets as a tremor of pain washed over him. Stefan was right by his side in an instant, "Damon?"

It didn't last long and he sank back into the bed gasping in relief.

Alaric could see a little of the other reason why Damon didn't want Elena here. He was suffering a great deal, Damon was a proud man and he wouldn't want her to see him waste away.

"I'm thirsty." Damon muttered.

Alaric was on his feet "I'll get a blood bag."

Stefan stopped him, "It's okay, you watch him, I'll get the blood."

Alaric waited for Stefan to leave the room before speaking, "Do you want me to tell her?"

Damon studied him, his initial anger slowly fading "She doesn't need to know the reason. She'd blame herself."

Alaric nodded, he knew enough about Elena to see that. "Does she know how you feel about her?" he was feeling bold.

Damon smirked taken aback "What and let a woman come between our bromance? I don't think so!"

"_Bromance_?" Alaric smiled but it faded fast "Probably shouldn't say this…"

Damon groaned. "Then don't"

He spread his hands towards Damon's sickly form, "Considering your current condition…there might a few things you wanna get off your chest."

"Such as?"

"Admitting your feelings…"

"What good would that do me?" he barked, some of his old vigour bursting into life.

"You'll regret it if you don't."

"I'll be dead, I won't regret shit!"

"But she should know."

"For fuck sake Rick!"

"If not for yourself then consider it for her!"

Alaric knew enough about how he'd felt when Isobel had dropped off the face of the earth to know that some closure would help Elena heal faster, it sure as hell would have been nice if he'd had some.

"uh," Damon clasped his hands over his head "Don't get all emotional on me Rick. I was counting on you for some comic relief!" he sighed eyeing the history teacher from the corner of his eye.

"I'm gonna give you a heavy dose of realism Rick. This isn't a fairy tale; the guy doesn't get the girl and live happily ever after, not ever."

Alaric was incredulous "You think I don't know that?"

Damon face remained passive "You looked like you needed reminding."

"You're an asshole." He said bluntly. Damon rolled his eyes.

"Yeah well, Isobel is in love with vampirism and Elena is in love with Stefan, I think you and I both have had enough of pining over unavailable women…" he grimaced, this was depressing "I need a drink."

Alaric nodded "Me too." All this male bonding was well outside both men's comfort zone not to mention relationship limits.

Damon thrust his finger toward the corner of the room "Mini Bar." He stated.

"Excellent." Alaric rose and poured two healthy glasses of scotch, returning with one for Damon who all but necked his, nursing what little remained against his bare chest.

"She knows, Alaric." He said suddenly "I haven't exactly made it easy for her to ignore."

Damon sighed and finished his drink. "She _knows_ but she doesn't _want_ to know."

Alaric pitied him, he never thought he'd see the day when he would feel sorry for Damon Salvatore but apparently it was upon him.

Damon had sacrificed himself for the girl he loved without her even knowing it and he'd given up on any hope of her returning his devotion.

Damon squirmed uncomfortably "I've done _irreparable_ damage to my reputation."

Alaric nodded "Yep, it's out now, everyone knows you're a sap."

"I hope this doesn't change things between us?" he pouted.

"What's between us can never be shaken." He said sarcastically. He waggled his ringed fingers "We're _engaged_ after all!"

Damon grinned.

Stefan returned with the blood bags, tossing one over and eyeing one for himself.

Alaric was surprised when he opened the top to drink.

"Finally decided to stop dieting?" Damon asked his voice low.

Stefan hesitated "I'm enrolled in the Damon school of Awesomeness remember? I figured drinking human blood would eventually become one of the lessons."

Damon smiled "What number am I on?"

"Six."

"Okay, Lesson 7: Bottoms up." He lifted the blood bag in a toast, they drank together.

Damon had to fight the urge to barf, wouldn't want to spoil the moment after all, blood just wasn't what it used to be.

Stefan took a few small sips, erring on the side of caution which in this instance was fine with Damon; he wasn't strong enough to stop Stefan if he went on a rampage.

He smirked, wondering if that's what Stefan was thinking too. Insane Damon was defiantly no fun in his book.

"Damon's school of awesomeness?" Alaric blinked.

Damon grinned "You wanna enrol too?" He waggled his eyebrows "I have a world renowned sex education course I'm sure you'd benefit from."

Alaric cleared his throat "I think I'm just fine."

"You keep telling yourself that." Damon soothed.

His smile slipped fractionally, eyes glazing over. It felt like he was having hundreds of micro strokes, forgetting and re-remembering who he was, where he was.

Damon gritted his teeth sucking in breath through his nose, trying desperately to steady himself. He was vaguely aware of hands on his arms of voices as a mist descended over his vision and then there was nothing.

...

Stefan was pacing. It was a school day so he'd reneged in favour of keeping an eye on Damon, Alaric, being a teacher however was obliged to go. He'd high tailed it outta there the minute the bell rang and was now currently collapsed in one of the guest bedrooms sleeping off the night before: Which had been more than stressful for all concerned.

He didn't know what to do. He'd never seen Damon look so weak; it frightened him, his brother. His big brother was dying.

"Stefan?" Elena walked in and smiled "Are you okay, I called?"

Where did he leave his phone, he patted his pockets "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what I did with my mobile."

She studied him; her smile slipping fractionally "Is everything okay, you weren't at school?"

"Yeah, everything's fine."

Her dark eyes slid past him into the room, looking for Damon. Stefan sighed, he would have been jealous, knowing that before. She was always looking for Damon, whether she admitted it or not, he felt grief heave in his chest and it took him a moment to suppress the want to cry.

He wasn't supposed to tell her, Damon would be so angry, but Stefan knew he was wasting away without her and she would never forgive him for letting Damon die alone.

"Elena?" his voice broke…Stefan cringed inwardly, this isn't how he wanted it to happen. He had to be strong for Elena.

"Stefan?" she rushed forwards. "What's wrong?" Elena was all wide eyed concern, checking him over hurriedly.

"I need you listen to me very carefully." He put up his hands "Please?"

She stopped fussing, absorbing his intense expression "Okay..."

Stefan studied her almost too afraid to reveal what he'd been hiding, she shouldn't even be here, he thought. She had to know.

"Do you remember the night we came for you, when the werewolves attacked us in the forest?"

She nodded slowly, remaining silent as Stefan continued.

"You remember the wolf that bit you?"

Elena felt fear grip her, where was he going with this "I remember." She said weakly.

Stefan had to stop; he could see it so vividly in his head, Damon prizing the cruel jaws from her flesh as he struggled to hold on. He was so concerned for Elena he didn't stop for one moment to think about what Damon had done.

"When Damon pulled it off…. Elena,"

She stepped back, already sensing what he was going to say, he took hold of her gently.

"Damon was bitten."

Her mouth fell slack "No, no no no…no." Elena's chest heaved.

Overcome by the sensation of falling, she can't breathe or see or feel or think, everything freezes, floats for a split second then crashes.

"Elena, I'm sorry…" She pulled herself from Stefan's arms and stumbled up the stairs, she had to see him, had to be with him.

Damon was overcome with rage when she walked in, she can't be here, Stefan said he wouldn't tell her.

_She can't see me like this._

"Get out!" he ordered, "I don't want you here!"

"How could you hide this from me!" she screamed, tears streaking down her beautiful face.

"Leave!" he shouted.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"…I couldn't."

"Because it's my fault!"

"Because I knew how you'd react!"

"Because it's MY FAULT!"

"NO!" he launched out of the bed, it took all the strength he had. "You listen to me Damn it!"

She sobbed; his arm was livid red streaked with purple veins that spread like a poison over his shoulder and neck.

"It's my fault." She choked. "You're going to die and it's ...it's my fault..."

"LISTEN!" He took hold of her shoulders forcing her to see his face, to ignore the injury "I went after you because _I wanted_ _to_, because _I chose_ _to_…if you had died I…"

Elena stumbled forward and buried her face in his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She whimpered over and over, Damon sighed wrapping her in his arms ignoring the pain, just to hold her.

"It's better this way."

With no longer the strength to stand his knees gave out and they crumpled to the floor, she wouldn't let go and he didn't want her too.

Damon bowed his head. He needed her.

He felt reality slipping and he held her tighter, just a minute more, just another second.

"…Where are we?" he was afraid. Elena loosened her hold, red rimmed eyes finding his lost and dazed "You're with me, you're safe." Her voice trembled, he didn't know her.

He inched away, his fangs extending piercing through the skin of his bottom lip.

"Stay back!" he groaned, his arm seizing up, the muscles in his upper body contorted.

"Damon!" she screamed.

Damon fell back writhing in agony, blood coughing up from his mouth.

Elena wept as he was pulled from her arms and placed on the bed again restrained by his brother, who fought back tears.

Damon twisted and squirmed under Stefan's grasp "Don't let her see me like this." He panted.

Stefan closed his eyes "Elena, wait outside the door."

"Just for a minute, then you can come back in, okay?"

She nodded dumbly and stumbling from the room, folding herself against the wall.

This couldn't be happening, he couldn't be dying, Damon couldn't die. He was always there, always.

"_You think I'm going to hang around that long?"_

All this time, he'd kept it from them, suffering alone. She broke down again choking sobs raking her body.

Never without Damon.

She couldn't live without Damon, not now, not when she had realised what he truly meant to her.

Stefan tapped her shoulder and smiled down affectionately; his eyes were bloodshot and swollen. "He's lucid."

Damon lay supine on the bed, his ashen body bathed in sweat, his face contorted in agony. She curled up beside him and gathered him like a child in her arms, he didn't resist. He gave soft cries of pain, his body stiffening and shaking, she only tightened her hold praying that she could take away his suffering.

...

It was difficult through the night; he had been raked with agonizing pain, his whole body rippling in tortuous contortions.

Not a single lucid moment, he kept repeating over and over "Let me die! Please god, let me die!"

Elena couldn't shut out his screams, they haunted her. Her head ached from weeping and even now she still surprised herself anew with fresh tears, though she felt dried out and hallow.

She sat on a small wooden chair beside his bed. Stefan had to tie him down with chains, he wouldn't allow her close.


	9. Chapter 9

...

Damon stared at the ceiling, there was acid in his veins, his whole upper left side was on fire but at least the cramps had subsided and the internal agony. He felt pretty good considering. He could smell Elena everywhere, his senses were painfully heightened.

He was in his right mind which was a blessing, brief he was well aware, but still a blessing. "Elena." He rasped.

She shuffled her seat forward and leaned as far as she dared across the bed, which was always an inch or two further than was advisable. He smiled.

"Damon?"

He looked at her, his blue eyes feverishly bright; she had been crying, red puffy eyes, hollow and dark from fatigue, golden skin now pale and her mouth drawn down in a permanent frown. She was still wearing the same clothes from the first night.

Still achingly beautiful, he thought. "Go home, rest."

She shook her head, tousled hair falling about her face "No, I want to stay with you."

"Elena." He was too tired to fight.

"No." she set her jaw stubbornly.

"Fine, but get some sleep, you look like death, it's freaking me out."

Her face twisted at the mention of death and he wished he hadn't said anything.

"Let me stay a little longer."

Damon reached out and ripped off her necklace tossing it across the room.

"Sleep until you are rested." He pointed over at a sofa near the wall.

Elena stood blankly walked to the sofa lay down and promptly fell asleep.

Damon nodded in satisfaction, Only just noticing Stefan standing by the door giving him a familiar disapproving look "Did you just compel my girlfriend?"

"What?" he grumbled "You'd have done it if you weren't so needlessly self-righteous."

He slumped back against the pillows; fatigued by the small compulsion, the chains were heavy.

"She looks worse than me, she needs the rest." He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and winced "Well, maybe not." He chuckled.

Stefan handed over a blood bag, but Damon shied away, he felt ill just looking at it.

"I'm not hungry." He lied.

Stefan wanted to force him but shrugged instead, seating himself in Elena's old chair.

Damon watched his brother carefully, "I promised I would make your life miserable, remember?"

Stefan's face crumpled.

"This is all part of my master plan, make myself irreplaceable then die." He was being callous but he didn't care.

"Damon." Stefan breathed. "I'm going to miss you."

"I know." He said, hesitating "I'm sorry…" for everything he thought silently.

Stefan nodded "I know." He understood. "I'm sorry too."

...

Elena's dreams were troubled, images flickering in near constant unrelenting flow. Damon emaciated and slick with greasy sweat, writhing and screaming then nothing, deafening silence, causing her chest to tighten gripped with fear.

She was running, screaming, searching she couldn't remember what was missing.

Then suddenly it stopped, Elena was surrounded by diffuse radiant light, odd discordant music echoing from all directions, she looked down, black rippling silk then sleek blue, she recognised both dresses, from the garden party and pageant respectively.

Couples dancing ghosted around her twirling and disappearing in a mist.

"My control isn't what it used to be."

She turned to see Damon smiling apologetically. He wore the suit from the pageant and was looking exactly like he always did, gorgeous.

"Damon." She threw her arms around him; drawing back moments later to stare at his face, remember him like this, always like this: Charming and roguish and perfect.

"May I have this dance?" he smirked.

She beamed "Yes."

Elena didn't need to worry about stumbling here, she was light as a feather and he spun her about amongst the ghosts and hazy images with expert ease, confident and untouchable.

She felt sorrow rising and he drew her closer, his unmarred hands caressing her face, fingers brushing her lips and back through her hair.

"There is nothing outside this place, this is real." Damon whispered against her mouth, his lips touching hers so softly, she wanted him to kiss her but he wouldn't.

"Nothing but this." She repeated entranced.

He nodded, breathing her in deeply and tangling his fingers in her hair. Tears ran from her eyes, she tried not to cry but simply couldn't stop.

His brows knitted together in a conscious effort not to be overcome by emotion and he kissed away her tears.

"Elena." He murmured, "You don't have to cry." He cupped her face.

"Kiss me." She pleaded. His beautiful blue eyes clear from pain and fever flickered over her mouth and he leaned in pressing his lips on hers.

Elena clung to him feeling desperation build wanting to consume her, his kiss deepened, his tongue rolling over hers soft and wet. She groaned, wishing to god they had more time, that she'd meet him first.

Damon pulled away, gritting his teeth against the pain, it was deeper than before different somehow and he knew it wasn't just physical pain.

He wanted her so much; he didn't want to die now.

Bitter tears spilled from his eyes and Elena sobbed, it was getting darker.

"No," she whispered kissing him again "Don't leave me."

Forcing her mouth on his impassioned by fear and need and time, he drew her in, his kiss every bit as ardent and eager…..

_..._

Elena's eyes snapped open and she leapt up from the sofa. Damon was lying motionless on the bed, his head lolling to one side.

She approached slowly, afraid of what she was seeing.

Those beautiful blue eyes were staring blindly out toward the sun streaming through the far window, the light he once gave them now only pale reflection.

She clasped her hands over her face, mouth agape in a silent scream that trapped in her throat choking her, metal bands tightened around her chest, squeezing the oxygen from her lungs and her heart shattered like glass, splintering out irreparable.

He was dead.

"Damon." she wailed, finally finding her voice.

Elena stretched her hands out touching his fast cooling body, shaking him.

An uncontrollable keening cry wrenched from her throat, her entire body tightening convulsively with each heaving sob.

"Please…wake up." She begged. "You can't be dead…Damon, _please_!"

"I never told you…." stroking trembling hands over his beautiful face, brushing back soft dark hair.

Any minute now Damon would look at her, still features alighting with animation, smiling the way he did and laughing at the joke, but he didn't, he would never look at her again, never speak her name, never touch her, never hear her say the words she should have said so long ago.

"_I love you, I live for you and it has always been you."_

Elena wept brokenly, curling herself around him and whispering those words like an incantation that would bring him back.

It was too late.

...

Stefan stood unnoticed against the wall, he'd found Damon a few moments before she woke, he felt empty, hearing Elena sob and say she loved him seemed to bounce off. He couldn't feel anything.

Damon was dead, his brother, the man he'd idolised as a boy: his big brother was dead. No more sarcasm, no more humour, no more arguments, no more indomitable Damon. Stefan slumped back and slid to the floor, his shoulders shaking as he gave in to his grief, he was alone.

...

The End

...

**You hate me, I know because I hate me too. **

**I want to apologise to anyone who was holding out hope for Damon's survival.**

**That ending was…pretty bleak…**

**If you would like me to post an alternate version with Damon bite free, then please don't hesitate to give me a shout. **

**It might take some time but, a****nyway, let me know what you think.**

**I just want to say a big Thank You to everyone who reviewed through this, you have no idea how much it helped…especially when I was agonizing over stuff.**

**Also thanks to everyone who read, I really appreciate it and I hope you liked the story even though it was a sad ending.**

**Love, Preshie ;)**


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